The Saddest Place in Japan

On my recent trip to Japan, I realized that Japan is maybe the happiest place in the world. There's no crime, there's cute little faces on everything, even the fire trucks look like adorable little toys you want to pick up and play with. That is, until we took a trip to the Himeji Zoo, aka Sadness Island.

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  Here's the entrance of the zoo. Looks fun for the whole (band) family, right? WRONG!

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  Behold, the Sad Hippo crying one singular tear which appears to actually have frozen over. I don't know if you can see it, but he's bleeding from one knee.

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  It's hard to see, but that pink thing is the inside-out ass of a monkey, which is lying face-down on its stomach. The scientific name for this species is, in fact, Inside-Out Ass Monkey.

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  Pigeon eating some rotten cabbage.

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  This monkey had such an expressive face!

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  But then I saw these dogs hanging out outside of a building and I felt all right again.

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  And here's that cute fire truck I was talking about earlier. You can't see them, but it was filled with puppies.

• Japan is the best country in the world!!!!