1. Scrotums* are (usually) not coated in delicious coconut flakes.
5. Or flesh-colored hedgehog hair.
7. The hair does not naturally gather in one place like a bushy little mustache.
9. Peens do not sit delicately in a bed of beautiful blue rosebuds.
10. They do not come gifted with satin bows.
14. Or funky red sailor pants.
Although they do sometimes give you the side eye and wave hello.
15. A penis will not wish you happiness, at least not verbally.
Although if a penis could talk, it would probably talk in puns.
16. A penis of this size will not actually fit in a human ear.
No matter how stretchy the ear.
17. While veins do sometimes creep up like spindly branches, they are not steel grey.
19. Contrary to popular belief, penises are not amorphous blobs.
25. The human body to penis ratio here is completely OFF.
And don’t let ANYONE tell you otherwise.
26. This is not an accurate side profile representation.
27. Nor is this.
28. The shading shown here, or chiarascuro if you will, inches closer to realism.
29. As is the veining here created by a very, very delicate hand.
30. Finally, a set of cupcakes that most accurately represents the super fun variety that penises of all shapes and sizes can come in.
Erect, not erect, circumcised, uncircumcised. Every penis is unique!