1. Bob Ross Finger Puppet
Why paint your fingernails when you could have a painter ON your fingernails?
3. Camouflage Bandaids
Now when you’re camping, the animals won’t see your boo boos.
4. Batman Apron
For the Souperhero in you! (Other Souperhero options available)
5. Infectious Disease Balls
You’re squeezing a stress ball that reminds you, “things could be worse.”
6. Glow-in-the-dark Toilet Paper
Gives a whole new meaning to “flash light.”
8. Higgs Boson Watch
The Higgs Boson is free of charge. This watch, unfortunately, isn’t.
9. Lightsaber Toothbrush
A REAL Star Wars fan would brush their teeth with the hand that wasn’t cut off by Vader.
10. Ninja-Bread Cookie Cutters
Your cookies will come out HI-YA in protein.
11. Offensive Business Cards
Oh, it says my employer right here: Nunya. NUNYA BUSINESS.
12. Color Changing Shower Head
As if you didn’t know your shower was Red Hot or Frozen Blue before.
13. Pen Cap Utensils
Mixing business with pleasure never tasted so good.
15. Personalized Superheros
Because you can’t spell Captain America without “me.”
16. Fork Pizza Slicer
Will single-handedly put the knife companies out of business.
17. Scrabble Magnets
Will come in handy for all future grocery lists.
18. Grippy Car Dashboard
The only time we can say “we need more sticky situations.”
19. Wrist-Watch Post-It Notes
What time is i…. OOPS. (better late than never, right?)
21. Credit Card Tool Kit
Itty bitty teeny weeny credit card-sized screwdriver-ini.
24. PBS Ornaments
Don’t forget to leave tea and biscuits for Santa.
26. Faucet Water Fountain
Warning: small children may line up behind you and ask for a “boost.”
27. Tangle-Free Zip-Up Headphones
Because this: http://bit.ly/HZvCkj
28. USB Rechargeable Batteries
You can’t recharge energizer bunnies, can you?
30. Instant Underpants
In case of emergency, you can carry these in your BRIEFcase.