1.
When they try to play up their furniture...
... But it actually has a haunting back story.
2.
When they're selling love in the form of a diamond...
... But it's actual proof that love is dead.
3.
When they sell that book you absolutely need...
... But it's gone through more shit than any book ever should.
4.
When you find a good deal on the phone you've wanted...
... But you also might get arrested for it.
5.
When you think you've found the perfect apartment...
... But living in some attic would probably be better.
6.
When they say you'll sleep on a cloud...
... But you'll actually be sleeping on their sloppy seconds.
7.
When they guarantee you'll look like a million bucks...
... But it's really more like five bucks.
8.
When they think Craigslist is the place to find love...
... But prefer some freaky love-making.
9.
When they're looking for those new college grads...
... But will only call you back if you have a 14-page resumé.
10.
When they try to reach out for those missed connections...
... But try to connect in more ways than one.
11.
When you see a new car that gives you all sorts of life...
... But it might also take your life.
