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14. "Knock hard. Drunk and playing Call of Duty."
13. "KETCHUPPPP AND SWEET 'N SOUR PLEASE. I'm stoned and I'll be sad without it."
12. "Thank you so freaking much for your company 'cause I'm a lazy college student and I'm also starving. You guys f*ckin' rock."
11. "Have a bomb-diggity night, bro. May unicorns poop magic treasure for you to find and sell at a high price."
10. "Do you guys deliver to actual bedrooms? I'll be waiting."
9. "We await your arrival post-haste. Verily. Forsooth. 'A drum, a drum, OrderUp doth come.' - William Salsaspeare"
8. "Please hurry! We're dying of hunger and I love you. kthxbye. You're awesome. Like the best. And I'm only a LITTLE drunk. My grammar is perfect, see?"
7. "Pizza, you have been my longest relationship in college. Thank you for being there through every up and down I've had, like answering my late-night phone calls--drunk and sober. College ends, memories fade, but pizza is forever."
6. "Send Jake. I will not accept the pizza if my delivery person is anyone but Jake. I will wait as long as it takes. Thank you. Also, please include a sexy headshot of Jake. Thank you, again."
5. "My girlfriend gets super pissed when she's hungry. Please hurry."
4. "Please get a whole bunch of mild and hot sauce. I'm talkin' A. LOT. Like, a shit ton of sauce, bro. A disgusting amount of F*CKING SAUCE PACKETS."
3. "Can I have them pan-fried and half chicken/half beef? I JUST got stoned and couldn't remember. Either way, your food makes me happy that on lazy stoned movie nights I have better options than shitty pizza. Have an awesome night dudes/dudettes."
2. "Knock hard because I have loss of hearing in my eyes."
1. "I'll probably be outside smoking a cigarette, as high as Jesus on a spaceship."
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