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1. You always have food stuck in your teeth.
2. You lean over your bowl of soup for a bite and proceed to dip your hair in it.
3. You put burning hot food in your mouth so you either panic until it's cool enough to swallow...
4. ...or you discreetly spit it out into your napkin.
5. Whether you twirl your spaghetti or not, you're destined for sauce staining around the mouth.
6. Speaking of stains, you've spilled just about everything on yourself.
I think we can all agree that grease/butter stains are the worst...
Followed by coffee or tea...
Followed by red wine.
7. Other problem foods for you include:
Tacos.
Seeded bagels.
Pizza.
HOW DO YOU DO IT RYAN!?
8. Sometimes you miss your mouth for no apparent reason.
9. Both with liquids and solids.
10. Wearing white pants is a risk you're not willing to take.
11. You get crumbs everywhere.
12. Occasionally you find crumbs/whole potato chips in your hair...
13. Or your beard.
14. In terms of napkins, 1-3 is never enough.
15. Honestly, you may be better off eating like this:
Since it looks like you did anyway.
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