12 Reasons Why The Scholarship Committee Hated Your Essay

Financing your college education can be a daunting challenge, and many hopeful students turn to scholarships, submitting applications and essays by the dozens everywhere they possibly can. You’ve put in so much time copying and pasting your essay into so many websites that your eyes are bleeding, and yet you’re not winning anything. How is that possible? Here is a candid look at twelve of the biggest mistakes that scholarship applicants make, as told by the scholarship committee at Brad’s Deals.

1. You repurposed an essay you wrote for something else.

Via quickmeme.com

We know. Instantly. And we take a pass on you. Instantly. If you didn't care enough about us to craft something unique, why should we care enough about you to give you some money? Look, we know it’s tempting to recycle a generic essay when you’re applying to a zillion scholarships all at once, but please don’t. We’re going to give the money to someone who puts in the work - and applicants who use a recycled essay haven’t.

2. You composed your essay like a text message.

Via cheezburger.com

Use complete sentences, friends! Heck, use complete words. The moment we spot a “u” that should be “you”, well, U R not getting R scholarship LOL :-) :-) :-)

3. You didn’t bother with spell check, either.

Via cheezburger.com

Or proper grammar. And you seriously expect us to hand you a check? No. Please, for the love of all that is holy and good, take the time to clean up your spelling and grammar, and make someone else read it before you hit submit. Even if the “someone else” is just that pop-up paperclip dude.

4. And you used way too much slang.

Via quickmeme.com

You’re talking to a bunch of grown-ups, you know. Maybe you shouldn’t write like you’re channeling Gossip Girl or Snoop Dog or whatever you crazy kids are parroting these days. (Oh god I feel old. #YOLO) We don’t need it to be all stuffy and academic - we so want to get a sense of you as a person - but using words that are actually in the dictionary would be a good start.

5. Or we’re pretty sure your mom wrote it.

Via memegenerator.net

Sometimes an essay is just a little too polished. We’d much rather hear a genuine voice. Seriously, we’re not expecting Pulitzer Prize material. Just talk about the subject like a normal person.

6. You obviously didn't read the question.

Via beta.diylol.com

You just said absolutely nothing of value to us. Better yet are the ones that answer the question as vaguely as possible and end up talking in a circle. Be as specific as possible with your answer. Trust us, we know when you’re half-assing it.

7. You gave us the same boring answer as everyone else.

Via slapcaption.com

No matter what scholarship you’re applying for, standing out from the crowd is a must. We read hundreds and sometimes thousands of essays that say exactly the same thing, and getting through them can be one big dreary slog. As an example, the Brad’s Deals Scholarship looks for students using creative methods to pay for their school expenses. Do you really believe that shopping at that trendy campus thrift store instead of going to the mall is a clever strategy that no one else has thought of? A good rule of thumb is that if it’s easy and obvious, then it’s also going to be nothing special to your scholarship committee - they already heard it from the 800 or so applicants who submitted before you.

8. Two words: "hammy downs".

Via cheezburger.com

Ahh, the misheard lyrics of scholarship essays. Commonly misheard phrases like “hammy downs” make us wonder if you even really know what “hand-me-downs” are. Other offenders we've seen include “do respect” instead of “due respect” or “for all intensive purposes” instead of “for all intents and purposes”. We’ll reiterate here: Get someone else to double check your essay before you send it to us.

9. You plagiarize the internet.

Via cheezburger.com

Apparently you are not aware of how easy it is for us to find out. Google is magic, people, and we know how to use it. Probably better than you do.

10. You have grand sweeping plans but aren’t doing anything right now.

Via diylol.com

A lot of applicants talk about how they plan to do this or plan to do that, but until you’re actually doing something it’s all just talk - and talk is cheap. Write less about what you’re planning to do and more about what you’re already doing. We all have big dreams but many fewer of us are actually working toward them right now. Impress us with what you’ve already done, and what you’re doing today.

11. You’re only talking about how much your life sucks.

Via flic.kr

We’re really sorry for you, and we hope that things improve soon, but a scholarship is not a handout. However, if you’re doing something awesome in spite of your unfortunate circumstances, that's the kind of thing you should tell us about. We want to give our scholarships to people who are already helping themselves to succeed. Essentially, we’re placing a bet on your future success.

12. You talk about how great our direct competitor is.

Via cheezburger.com

If only my eyes were made of lasers. The first rule of writing is to know your audience. In the case of a scholarship, your audience is the sponsor. So just as raving about how meat is delicious isn’t likely to go over well with a crowd of vegetarians, telling us all about our wonderful competition is a terrific way to shoot yourself in the foot. Brad’s Deals definitely has passed on some great essays because they mention a competitor. On the flip side, whenever an essay talks about us, we perk up and pass it around, even if it’s not the best essay we’ve read lately. Make a point of knowing who is sponsoring the scholarship, look them up, and see if you can work them into your essay. Flattery may not get you everywhere, but it can get you pretty far.