Undeniable Proof That Tacos Are The Greatest Food Ever Made

Hard shell tacos suck and you should feel bad for liking them.

OK – Let’s get this out of the way: When I refer to tacos, I don’t mean this shit:

For those in “that” camp who absolutely LOVE those hard-shell chingaderas, we’re just going to set you aside over here:

Go ahead and eat your hard shell tacos that break down after one bite, your chopped lettuce, your shredded cheese, and your fake meat. You enjoy that. Seriously.

The delicious mouthwatering tacos I’m talking about look like this:

Jeffrey Beall/ Flickr: denverjeffrey

So beautiful.

And typically, this glorious food from heaven is made by this dear man who knows how to handle a drunken crowd in the wee hours of the night:

Omar Bárcena/ Flickr: omaromar

The true king of late night.

So why are tacos so perfect? Why are they so damn good? Why are they so ridiculously mouthwatering? Why are they the best thing to come out of planet earth? Here are eight essential reasons:

1. The small corn tortilla. Dipped in just enough cooking oil to make it tender to the bite. The tortilla is essential to keeping everything in line. It’s the leader. The team captain. The cover to the greatest book you’ll ever read.

Erin and Lance Willett

2. The al pastor meat. A juicy, tender pork that melts in your mouth. The way the taquero slices the meat off the rotisserie, landing oh so gracefully onto that pillow of a tortilla, waiting to unleash its true power on your taste buds.

Hagens_world/ Flickr: hagens_world

3. The pineapple slice. The juicy pineapple that goes so well with the pork. It’s like the sweet kiss in an overly passionate relationship. Comforting yet sexy.

4. The salsa. A powerful combination of sweet, sour, and spicy, lethal enough to ruin a tongue if not handled with care. The salsa can be your best friend or your foe. It can be your happiness or your demise. CAREFUL WITH THAT SHIT.

5. And finally, the greatest triple-threat tag team in the world: cilantro, onion, and lime. A team responsible for elevating the taco to a euphoric level of greatness.

 

If cilantro tastes like soap to you, that sucks. I know it’s not your fault, and there’s some weird genetic thing going on that’s not under your control, but you’re really missing out.

6. And finally, there’s this:

Love. Amor means love. Mucho, mucho, mucho love.

7. When you unite all of these components, magic happens. You will feel light-headed. Your tastebuds will reach new heights of pleasure. Bodily pleasure. Mental pleasure. Nirvana.

8. And then, there’s the bite.

Elise Amendola / AP

THE bite.

Elise Amendola / AP

The bite to end all bites.

Elise Amendola / AP

You think you found your soul mate? Well, you’re wrong. You know who’s your soul mate? THIS.

Are you worried about being single for the rest of your life? There’s a cure for that. THIS.

NoNo Joe/ Flickr: nonojoe

Who’s better: Yankees or Red Sox? I got an answer for that: WHO GIVES A SHIT! THIS.

Cyrus Farivar/ Flickr: cfarivar

The one and only thing you’ve been searching for your entire life. What keeps the world turning, the birds chirping, and the sun shining? Is it science? Is it God? No. It’s quite simply…

So the next time you feel like eating tacos, go over to your local taquero and take a bite out of heaven. LOVE THAT TACO. LOVE THAT TACO WITH ALL OF YOUR LIFE.

Casey Atchley/ Flickr: caseya

Because life is too short for this shit:

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