1. Your favorite superheroes would surprise you at your birthday party and it was everything.
2. The neighborhood would smell like some bomb-ass carne asada.
3. Or your family would hire a taquero...
4. And you'd be like...
5. Your dad and uncles made sure there was enough alcohol available the day of the party.
6. If you were extra ~pipiris nice~, you got a jump house for your birthday party.
7. Your family would sing you four different versions of the Happy Birthday song.
♫ "Feliz Cumpleaños a ti..."♫
♫ “Qué linda está la mañana…” ♫
♫ "Happy Birthday to you..." ♫
Me: "OK. Can i blow out the candles now?" —
Tias: — “¡AHORA LAS MAÑANITAS!”"
>_<
8. Your family would always, without fail, smash your face into your cake.
9. And sometimes, it would make you a little... angry.
10. Your birthday cake was often tres leches along with that Jell-O stuff with fruit inside.
11. Your birthday piñata always looked...uh...weird.
12. Someone would always have to climb on the roof to hold the rope for the piñata.
13. Someone blindfolded and spun you around five times with a giant stick in your hand.
14. You would always end up whacking your little cousin in the head, who got in the way while trying to pick up a loose Pelon Pelo Rico.
15. And then they would start crying...
16. And then he would be whisked away by one of your tias.
17. And after an all-too-brief moment of concern for your cousin's well-being, the piñata breaking would continue because GODDAMN IT, WE HAD A PIÑATA TO BREAK!
18. When somebody finally broke the piñata, everybody went apeshit.
