The country's favourite guilty pleasure premieres tonight with its ninth season on Colors TV.
So you can imagine our excitement when we were invited to take a tour of the Bigg Boss house before the contestants entered.
Our phones were taken away and every mirror selfie had the cameraman sneakily hiding behind us to take these brilliant and essential shots.
At first sight, the house (or, like I said, set) looked gorgeous.
But only after we overcame the prettiness of it, did we realise how creepily the house could mess with your head. Exhibit A.
I am unsure of how Mother Nature and a turbaned, immobile Hrithik Roshan-Brad Pitt hybrid affect the game, but I'm certain they're there for a reason.
I definitely felt their eyes following me, tho.
Other creepy elements include clocks stuck at 10.30.
A huge aspect of the Bigg Boss house is that there is no contact with the outside world. To such an extent that the "inmates" have no idea about the time of day. "Sometimes, they eat lunch at four thinking it's one," said our guide almost lovingly.
There's also a wall in the living room fitted with old TVs that're going to play a sequence of the contestants' faces on loop.
And obviously the 80+ cameras installed around the house. Some are easily visible, and some are completely hidden.
MOVING ON, there are a lot of things Bigg Boss fans are curious about, like the only place to not have cameras.
The insides of the bathroom, thank god.
There are mirrors ALL OVER the walls of the house, and no, it's not just so models and actors can admire themselves all day.
Here I am, personally making sure that the two-way mirror is legit and nothing can be seen from inside the house.
The weights are also totally real.
And so's the pain on my colleague's face.
Another place not featured a lot on the show is the smoking room.
There are cameras here but the footage is not featured on the show as long as rules are followed. Contestants can smoke in anonymity only if they enter the room, one at a time. They're not allowed to talk there and if they do say something that affects the show, it will be shown on prime-time television.
Also those are moths on the chair which brings me to the most underrated struggle.
Bugs. So many bugs.
Sure everyone talks about the mental and physical limitations about being holed up in a house full of strangers for three months. But no one ever talks about the bugs. No one talks about moths and grasshoppers on steroids.
Enough about creepy crawlies. Let's go back inside, to the kitchen, the hotbed of most Bigg Boss fights and controversies. Gorgeous isn't it?
The theme of the show this year is "Double Trouble" and that's reflective in the furniture.
So if you're a fan of personal space, do not sign up for this.
Here's the bedroom with more mirrors (aka cameras). Even the cushions have eyes on them so you never forget that you're being watched.
By then end of my visit, I had way, way, WAY more respect for the show's participants than I entered the house with. And not just because I know how many bugs they live with.
Also, this field trip was a gentle reminder that we really are an irredeemably fucked up species that'll trap our own in a crazy house with disembodied voices and stuck clocks and mess with their heads for entertainment!
