1. It’s that time of year again! Time to go on vacation!
2. But how to get to that dream spot that you’ve been saving up for?
Car? Train? Boat? Horse?
3. You decide on flying as your preferred mode of transport.
Seems to be the logical choice.
4. It’s time to go to the internet and book your flights. But what airline?
5. You find an extremely cheap airfare with a low-cost airline! Awesome, more money for sightseeing!
6. No seriously, you’re obliviously ecstatic! You think you’ve won the lottery the price is that low.
7. You book the flights, put in your credit card details and go to confirm your booking when your confronted with airport taxes.
Why wasn’t that in the final price? And more importantly, what are airport taxes?
8. You wonder whether or not to make the booking and go back to searching for another flight, but you’re too deep into it. Plus, Game of Thrones starts in 10 minutes.
9. You overlook the airport taxes and the day of your vacation is finally here! You leave for the airport!
10. But then it hits you. The reality of flying with a low-cost airline.
11. You go to the terminal that the airline departs from. But it’s not the normal big one with the other airlines, it’s the smaller one for the low-cost ones.
12. When you enter you find out that everyone else had the same idea to fly on the cheap.
I hate every single one of you.
13. You’re hungry. You look around and discover that there’s only one vending machine which services the entire terminal.
Oh well. I’ll just eat on the plane.
14. After a 90 minute wait you finally make it to the front of the check-in line and you get your first glimpse of the airline staff.
15. “Oh. Your flight’s been overbooked.” You’re moved to a later flight which seems like the most difficult task for the worker.
16. You then find out that your fare does not include check-in baggage. That will be $30.
17. It’s time to go through security. You’re still fuming from paying all that extra money. Because you look angry you’re picked for a random security check.
3rd base. I’m killing it on this vacation!
18. It’s a given that your flight is going to be delayed.
19. 3 hours later you hear your flight is boarding. You think you’re on the home stretch.
20. You take your seat and accept that this is going to be the worst flight of your life.
21. You actually listen to the safety demonstration for the first time ever as you have little confidence in the airline.
23. You finally take off and fear for the next surprise that the airline has in store for you.
24. You notice there’s a TV screen in-front of you. But it costs $10 to operate. FINE!
25. After paying the $10 you find out that the only choices you have to watch are either the the entire series of Whitney or The Fifth Element.
26. All this getting screwed over by the airline has made you hungry! $24 for a muffin and a bottle of water.
27. DID SOMEBODY SAY STOPOVER IN DENVER?!?!?!?!
No? Well fuck you! We’re stopping there anyway.
28. At least we can finally get some food right? WRONG! ANOTHER SHITTY BUDGET TERMINAL, BITCH!
29. Once you’re back in the air all the passengers start turning on each other.
30. You want to go to the toilet. But a shitty airline means a shitty plane so there’s one toilet, but the flight attendant is blocking you with their cart.
31. You FINALLY land at your destination. The plane taxis right past the terminal and parks at the end of the tarmac.
If the airline doesn’t use the jetways at the terminal they save money. Makes sense.
32. You then wait on the plane as a small bus takes a load of passengers to the terminal. One. Trip. At. A. Time.
33. Hell. By this stage you’re expecting them to lose your luggage. Well, they did. It’s still in Denver.
34. “We hope you had a pleasant flight and we hope to see you again soon.”
You booked a return flight that’s non-refundable with the airline, so you will be.