30 Times Heathcliff Proved That He’s A Total Sociopath

Garfield hates Mondays. Heathcliff hates everything.

1. That time he used a fish carcass as a snowboard.

2. That time he made an elderly couple and a kid build him an ice throne.

3. That time he opened a gourmet crumb shop in order to attract birds for his supper.

4. That time he expressed his feelings about his owners via flag.

5. That time he hung a portrait of himself over a mouse hole as a reminder that he could devour them at any moment.

6. That time he used a fish carcass as a baseball bat.

7. That time he tried to murder two dogs with a giant snowball.

8. That time he made an effigy of his owner and beat it to the delight of his peers.

9. That time he pounced on a poor couple who had the misfortune of mentioning their dog in his presence.

10. That time he used his absurdly long tongue to get his cat germs all over Marcy’s ice cream cone.

11. That time he demanded attention by banging a giant gong that he likely procured through shady means.

12. That time he rode Spike the bulldog like his personal slave in the theme song of his cartoon.

13. That time he raided Parliament and stole a guard’s clothes.

14. That time he stretched his arm like Mr. Fantastic just to steal a pie.

15. That time he hypnotized a mouse and was vaguely racist.

16. That time when he posed as a baby in order to sell the wheels off of a little girl’s stroller and, uh…We’ll be honest. We have no idea what’s going on here.

17. That time he stole a fighter jet in order to intimidate some mice. Also, did he decorate the side with his kills? Wow. What a creep.

18. That time he used a strangely-colored ostrich/bird thing as his personal footprint making puppet. Seriously, that creature is probably the last of its kind. Not cool, Heathcliff. Not cool.

19. That time when he planned to kill his owners with a chainsaw.

20. That time he abandoned his position as team mascot in order to completely destroy a poor child. That satisfied grin is the chilling cherry atop this sundae of horror.

21. That time he humiliated a shark by using it as his personal surfboard.

22. That time he played paddleball with a mouse. Just eat the poor thing already and put it out of its misery.

23. That time he built a giant robocat in the backyard likely for the purpose of mouse intimidation.

24. That time he used “Pops” Heathcliff, his jailbird dad, as a bowling ball.

25. That time he donned an unconvincing disguise in order to rob a fish market.

26. That time he used a romantic moment with Sonja as an excuse to slowly murder a fish.

27. That time he used a wiener dog as a skateboard. Is every creature in existence just another mode of transportation to Heathcliff?

28. That time he stole Roger Ebert’s catchphrase and gave his own movie “two thumbs up.”

29. That time he cannonballed into a duck pond just because he can.

30. That time he used the occasion of his wedding to kick a mouse. Even during what is ostensibly his happiest moment, Heathcliff still feels the need to inflict pain and suffering.

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