1. When people don’t realize you exist, or think you only exist in Toronto.
2. When non-black people ask: “So, like, were you born in Africa?”
3. That feeling you get when you have to choose between hanging out with your Black Friends or your Gay Friends.
4. Having to make the choice between your cultural community or the greater LGBTQ community at large.
Being a black queer can feel like straddling multiple different worlds: our cultural community and our queer community, and sometimes even our faith community, which is closely tied to our culture.
5. When your family goes to church, even though it’s not a particularly gay-friendly place.
6. When you worry about what’s going on with LGBTQ people back home, and whether those attitudes will affect you here.
7. When people assume you’re not only straight, but homophobic.
8. When someone tells you — a black, queer woman — that you just “need a good man” to turn you straight.
9. When you're listening to a reggae or hip-hop jam and bam! Anti-gay lyrics.
10. When some folks in your community start getting noticeably rowdier and boldly anti-gay after a song with homophobic lyrics starts to blow up either back home OR on your block.
11. When racism, sexism, and homophobia all team up to make your dating life extra challenging.
12. The first time you encounter racism in the LGBTQ community itself.
13. When you realize that super cute queer you’re seeing really just has a black fetish.
14. When you're a black, queer man and find yourself caught in a crossfire of stereotypical expectations.
15. When you have to create and justify an important social movement.
16. When everyone at the gay bar wants to touch your hair.
Ultimately, it can be really tough sometimes to be black and queer. But black queers continue to thrive with resilience and fabulousness and Afros full of glitter.
Sierra Jamerson and Nicki Anderson are two members of the grassroots organization, Black Queer Edmonton.