A Guide To Your Disappointing Life

A hard truth goes down easier when it comes from a children's book full of anthropomorphic animals. "Things They Don't Tell You" reveals the unspoken truth about ugly people, self-importance, and how tall people only date each other.

Everyone's bound to find one page in here to pin to someone else's cubicle wall. For example, "Love is like a grocery store apple: look all you want, but you'll never find one without a huge dent in it."