This week the BuzzFeed Australia team went to the Sydney Cricket Ground to see the Adelaide Strikers take on the Sydney Sixers in the Big Bash League.
I noticed they were showing live tweets on the big screen, so I spent around six minutes thinking of an awesome, cricket related tweet and posted this:
PUT ME ON THE SCREEN YOU FUCKS #BBL04
Within a minute I received this reply from Channel Ten's Sport Twitter account, who happened to be broadcasting the game.
@50ShadesOfWray sounds risky
I tried a different approach.
This cricket match is amazing! You know what is more amazing? The Project, weeknights at 6:30 on TEN! #BBL04 @tensporttv
Channel Ten started opening up to me, then something weird happened. I started to develop emotions for a TV network.
@50ShadesOfWray You're heading in the right direction
I couldn't wait any longer! Channel Ten was somewhere in the SCG and I wanted to meet them!
Hey @tensporttv social media person, where are you? Wanna get a quick beer? #bbl04
They revealed their whereabouts, hanging out behind the commentators.
@50ShadesOfWray I'm everywhere
Like a school boy I looked over to the commentator's box to see what I think was Channel Ten, and boy, it was love at first sight.
@tensporttv you look great.
It was time to take our relationship to the next level (although Channel Ten was hesitant).
@tensporttv My parents really want to meet you. #BBL04
@50ShadesOfWray I look fat in that photo. Might have to take a raincheck re parents
I got desperate.
@tensporttv you're always beautiful to me.
It worked.
@50ShadesOfWray #Swoon
So I started whipping out the big guns. This line has never failed me!
@tensporttv you are the Kentucky to my chicken.
@50ShadesOfWray You are the audience to my #ImACelebrityAU
Then I made a fatal mistake.
@tensporttv So I'm one person?
The silent treatment began. I knew what was coming because I've been in this situation with human girls before.
@tensporttv sorry babe, I was just playing.
@tensporttv babe? :(
I blew it.
@50ShadesOfWray I don't think this is working out. At first it was so passionate, but now it feels... different. #AwkwardBreakup
I was rebounding hard, so I contacted Channel Nine.
@tensporttv Urgh fine. I'll go to @WWOS9, at least they get me. Goodbye Ten...
My knight in shining armour came out to save me and my shattered heart.
@50ShadesOfWray Welcome home baby! #fast4tennis #WWOS
I immediately wanted to distance myself from Channel Ten.
@WWOS9 Ten meant nothing to me, you'll always the the one in my eyes. Hear that @tensporttv? You were just a fling, that's it!
The two networks started fighting each other for my love.
@50ShadesOfWray @WWOS9 Keep out of this WWOS. You're just a rebound anyway. #StayingStrong http://t.co/cYmvT8qkbD
@tensporttv Not according to @50ShadesOfWray... "You were just a fling, that's it!". #fast4tennis
After seeing Channel Nine destroy Ten verbally (and in the ratings) I knew I was ready to take the next step. I asked Channel Nine the biggest question in any couple's relationship:
@WWOS9 So... are we exclusive?
And so it began, the greatest love story not to be written by Nicholas Sparks.
@50ShadesOfWray It's not official until it's Facebook official ;) https://t.co/PcJVvKRfpx
@WWOS9 I love you, Nine.
@50ShadesOfWray <3
Sorry Ten, it was fun while it lasted.
@WWOS9 @50ShadesOfWray http://t.co/2lsO0bKcXp