1. Last night at the Royal Rumble, The Rock beat CM Punk in a controversial decision to win the WWE Championship.
CM Punk actually pinned The Rock and won the match, but evil genius Vince McMahon strutted out and, after some conversation, ordered the match to restart. The Rock then hit the People’s Elbow and won, ending Punk’s 400-plus day reign as champion. The result angered more than a few fans, including our friend Michael.
2. The scene begins with our protagonist, Michael, watching the Rumble in his living room.
1-2-3, Rock wins.
3. *Throws replica championship belt in disgust*
15. Here’s the entire freak-out, in video form. Only 69 days until WrestleMania!
To be fair, there’s a lot of wrestling fans that feel exactly the way Michael does. The Rock, as a full-time actor and part-time wrestler (or is that redundant?), was probably only given the championship as a PR move so more people watch Raw and buy WrestleMania. But still, you shouldn’t go around throwing replica belts willy nilly.
- Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump have won the New Hampshire primaries for the Democratic and Republican nominations 🇺🇸
- The Supreme Court put on hold President Obama's climate change plan, which aims to curb carbon dioxide emissions from power plants.
- And thank the Force: Disney's profits hit an all-time high of $2.9 billion after the latest *Star Wars* film release ✨💰