1.
Because life can't go on without a yearly subscription to NFL Red Zone.
2.
Kickstarter won't let me stage a campaign for my own pension fund.
3.
You want me to invest in CDs? Um, why? I have all my music on my iPhone.
4.
I needed to impulse-buy a $1400 racing bike because, you know, I'm going to train for that triathlon...eventually.
5.
You mean with a 401(k), I'm supposed to contribute money from every paycheck?
6.
Sure, if I invest shrewdly over several decades, I could be a millionaire in my 70s. But what if I become a millionaire by age 30? Ever think of that?
7.
If I could sync my portfolio with Facebook/Twitter and blast out updates whenever I have a solid quarter, I'd be investing like mad.
8.
If I can't dive headfirst into a pool of my coins, then I'm not interested in saving.
9.
Yes, a Roth IRA is a smart option if I make less than $112,000/yr as a single person. I hope I don't cross that threshold at my unpaid internship.
10.
I'm sure the government will have money to support me when I reach retirement...said no one ever.
11.
11. Three words: student loan debt.
12.
I can send a tweet in 2.3 seconds. Why would I ever place my money in a portfolio and wait FOUR DECADES to spend it?
13.
Modest monthly contributions to a range of diverse mutual funds? Yes, I'd love to. Just let me first work down $10,000 in credit card debt.
14.
It's inevitable I'm going to make a lot of money and won't need a retirement fund. Just gotta find a job first.
15.
True, I could put a few extra dollars each month into a savings account. I could also book a flight to Coachella.
16.
16. I swear I'll start saving tomorrow.