When news broke that Jay Z was dropping the hyphen from his name, it came as a bit of a surprise. Sure, he’s gone through his fair share of nicknames, but he’s never asked the press to adhere to a name change like Diddy or Snoop Lion (now Snoop Zilla). Here are five subtle name changes he’s experimented with through the course of his career. — Ronald Metellus
Has Russia finally found a way to end the Syria conflict? No. But perhaps destroying chemical weapons (seriously) is a roadmap to peace. Has US Soccer finally found a way to win a World Cup? No. Really - Europe still exists. News Genius: ZOO GSV MVDH GSZG’H URG GL KIRMG! — Gavin Matthews
While total inaction in Syria continues to be the norm, the NSA’s dubious doings have leaked out another truly insane and magnificent crime. Thankfully, Sarah Palin came in to save the day with a well-timed open letter…on Facebook. News Genius: Hurry up with my damn Syria response! — Gavin Matthews
With every day creeping closer and closer to The Matrix, it is only a matter of time until…wait, that’s not too bad! With luck, you might even get to be Neo, somehow flying and wearing sunglasses that went out of style in 1996. But in reality, the world is no Utopia right now, with stresses in the fast food industry all the way up to nations. News Genius: smoke one for Spitta!
— Gavin Matthews
Will we ever have a week where something in every single sector of news, sports, and politics avoids a shattering scandal? Probably not. Thankfully, nothing is as obvious as it seems, which is where News Genius comes in. As long as bias, subtext, and outright lies continue to make headlines, the need to break down the realities becomes more apparent.
News Genius: listen to “Dark Side of the Moon” at a reasonable volume
- Gavin Matthews
Egypt is falling apart again. Ashton Kutcher is playing his own holy trinity, living as Steve, Ashton, and Chris all at once. Orson Scott Card is typecasting America as a dystopian hellhole. And RGIII is calling out his fellow players and Christians to respect the LGBTQ community. What tops it all?
News Genius: God Hates Fracks! Edition
— Gavin Matthews
Now that the threat in the Middle East has been eliminated (of course by drone strike), we can all return to quiet baseball and news, right? Wrong - this week featured the suspension of 13 MLB players, including Alex Rodriguez, and Sanjay Gupta’s sudden support of marijuana research and medical use. Meanwhile, the entire world sport system has ground to a halt, thanks to Russia. It’s a cold world out there, and everyone seems to be getting a bit more frosty. News Genius: Steroid free since ‘93 — Gavin Matthews
When DJ Khaled announcing a fake proposal to Nicki Minaj is a big story, you know that the media climate has shifted. With news of the NSA long forgotten and Snowden again vilified, Khaled’s appearance is not surprising. Still, J.Cole’s apt apology and Jay Z’s (no hyphen!) remarks on race and President Obama more than made up for it. In the end, we’re all heading for methane death anyway. News Genius: CNN, will you marry us? — Gavin Matthews
While the Zimmerman trial dominated the news, leaving an embarrassing stain of fear-mongering and annoyingly pervasive reporting on “news” networks the country over, culture and politics kept trucking. From Detroit’s bankruptcy to Rolling Stone’s insensitive marketing, offense was in the air. Still, music stayed its usual self, highlighting Alice Cooper and FILA’s lifelong partnership with rap’s elite. News Genius: we don’t want no scrubs either - they can’t get no love from us — Gavin Matthews.
Look at the Croissoughnut. Just look at it. That, people, is the news. Also, Walmart got the boot from D.C., Apple lied, dogs in Colorado are safe, and Grand Theft Auto V has become sentient. News Genius: Seriously, you can dive in the game now! Diving! Who knew?! — Gavin Matthews