9. Private Jets & Helicopters for Wealthy Foreigners
A staggering $1 billion in private aircraft sales have been subsidized during the Obama presidency.
Pictured: Reenactment of a concerned taxpayer attempting to stop this waste, but don’t give up little guy! Congress simply has to let Ex-Im’s charter expire this year and we’ll ground that expensive chopper.
8. Green Energy Boondoggles
A long list of expensive, struggling, and of course politically connected flops from Solyndra and First Solar to freakin’ Enron have been backed by Ex-Im. Yes, Enron!
Just tagging along as another way for politicians to hand cash to their friends is not a good way to seem unique and useful Ex-Im!
7. Middle Eastern Power
Green energy busts for us, nuclear power for the United Arab Emirates thanks to $4 billion in Ex-Im loans, plus $5 billion for a Saudi petrochemical site. But hey, you can’t expect “energy-starved” people like those in the Middle East to buy their own luxury cars and cheetahs.
6. Wikipedia Page Propaganda
One lucky intern spent their summer tailoring Ex-Im’s Wikipedia page to fit their PR spin – because influencing the elusive half-asleep 2 A.M. Wiki-wormhole crowd is worth it!
5. Dunkin’ Donuts Equipment
Huh?! Dunkin Donuts is a $4.5 billion company, why would they need potentially millions of dollars from Ex-Im to buy store equipment?
4. Hair Care Products to Russia
If you’re going to flaunt the international community and call America’s bluff, Ex-Im will make sure you look good doing it! Maybe amusing Vlad is worth the cost?
A pickle company is held up by Ex-Im as one of their success stories, but in reality, the company already managed to export their products abroad before Ex-Im lifted a finger.
2. Movies (& Reality T.V. *gasp*)
There is already a financing infrastructure for films, but somehow Ex-Im decided flops like “United States of Leland” and “High Voltage” needed funding. Ryan Gosling should not require taxpayer financing.
1. Drug Cartels
Ex-Im “breaks bad” with up to $243 million in loans to the Juarez and Sinaloa drug cartels through contacts with non-existent companies. Surely they’ll get this misunderstanding sorted out, no problem…