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1. You will be starved out if you insult the chef's cooking.
2. Don't mess with someone named Crazy Eyes...
3. ...especially when their idea of scaring away wild teenagers is to recite Shakespeare.
4. You don't have to be a genius to play Scrabble.
5. Whether you'r starving or need to create a special lotion for the Russian lady's back pain; you need to know how to work with what you got.
6. This is what happens to you (and your teeth) if you do meth:
7. Donna from "That '70s Show" looks SO much better with dark hair. Not a lesson, but a FACT.
8. Douchebags really are trying to be more romantic these days...
9. ...and aspire to marry a future MILF one day.
10. Bullies are more insecure than you are.
11. Stereotypes will exist in this world - regardless of your background - whether you like it or not.
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12. Music nostalgia is everything...even if your taste is before your time.
13. Ladies, admit it: sometimes you just imagine your life being so much easier if you were a guy.
14. Plain and simple: prison will toughen you up.
15. Internet deprivation causes pain.
16. Forbidden love is the most exciting.
17. It's no big deal to think about sex.
18. Control over the remote in prison makes you queen.
19. You are amazing. Love yourself.
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