1. Plumber-Chic Pants
“The basic functions of dress are to provide warmth and protection, to beautify or enhance sexual appeal and to supply information about the wearer.”
“The present invention provides a small umbrella (“Beerbrella”) which may be removably attached to a beverage container in order to shade the beverage container from the direct rays of the sun.”
3. Banana Suitcase
“A banana protective device for storing and transporting a banana carefully.”
4. Neck Pack
“Traveling with many items, such as a telephone, pen or pencil, coins, cigarettes, etc., can be very cumbersome, particularly when all of the items need to be readily accessible.” So here’s how you can put everything you need around your neck.
5. Hospital Happiness
“The present invention relates to the field of modesty garments in general, and in particular to a privacy garment to cover a patient’s regions that are normally exposed by a rear opening hospital gown.”
Totally different from underwear.
6. Baby Bottom Art
No quote required. It’s exactly how it sounds / looks.
7. Motoried Icecream cone
“The repetitive task of moving one’s tongue up and down to manipulate a hollow ring can become monotonous and tiring, especially for a child.”
8. Fake Arm for High-Fives
“During a televised sporting event, a “high five” is commonly shared between fans to express the joy and excitement of a touchdown, home run, game-winning basket, birdie or other positive occurrence. Unfortunately, as known in the art, a “high five” requires the mutual hand slapping of two participants, wherein a first participant slaps an upraised hand against the elevated hand of a second participant. As such, a solitary fan is unable to perform a “high five” to express excitement during a televised sporting event.”
For those who have no friends.
9. Gerbil Shirt
“A pet display vest for a person, having an elongated, enclosed, pet receiving, passageway extending thereacross with at least one closable pet admitting entry, at least part of the passageway being transparent so that, when the vest is worn, a pet moving along the passageway across a wearer’s body can be viewed by a spectator.”
Who am I kidding? I’d totally use this for Kitty.
10. Cry No More
“The inventive device includes a pacifier having an outwardly extending guard plate, apertures in opposite sides of the guard plate, and adjustable straps employing hook and loop fasteners to form loops for engaging the straps between the apertures in the guard plate and an infant’s ears.”
Does your baby cry? Try our new baby-muzzle! Available in pink, blue and Bane.
11. Jacques Fido
“The invention is a special modified scuba diving apparatus intended for use by an animal.”
Finally! Honey, pack up the dogs. We’re going to Hawaii.
12. Gas Factory
“In addition to the environmentally destructive effects of ruminant animal methane emissions, such emissions represent wasted energy, as up to thirteen percent of the food ruminant animals eat is lost as methane.”
Do you own cows? Are you converting their farts into energy or simply letting it go to waste?