The One Thing Every NFL Fan Is Saying About Their Team Right Now

Unless you root for the Jags, Browns, or Raiders, it’s optimism season. Here are our best guesses at the most common current sentiments for each fan group.

AFC North

ID: 1527044

2. Baltimore Ravens

“It’s going to be weird without Ray Lewis and Anquan Boldin, but we’ll be fine. Yeah, we’ll be fine. We might actually be better. We should be fine. I think we’ll be OK.”

ID: 1527052

3. Cincinnati Bengals

“A.J. Green, man. A.J. Green. And we have the best defensive line in the league. If you can pass and rush the passer, you can win in today’s NFL.”

ID: 1527055

4. Cleveland Browns

“I know this is weird, but I think I might like Brandon Weeden.”

ID: 1527058

5. Pittsburgh Steelers

“Everyone’s hating on us this year. I cannot wait to shove it in their faces. Don’t worry about Le’Veon Bell, it’s totally not a Lisfranc injury, I can just tell.”

ID: 1527064

NFC North

ID: 1527068

7. Chicago Bears

“Seriously, this is Jay Cutler’s year. Everything is in place for him to have a great season. He just needed the right pieces around him.”

ID: 1527070

8. Detroit Lions

“As long as Matt Stafford can stay healthy, we’ll be in good shape — Reggie Bush is the weapon we needed to take the pressure off Megatron.”

ID: 1527073

9. Green Bay Packers

“I just want our defense to make one tackle. That’s it.”

ID: 1527076

10. Minnesota Vikings

“All Christian Ponder needs to do is hand the ball off to Adrian Peterson. And not be an idiot.”

ID: 1527078

AFC South

ID: 1527080

12. Houston Texans

“We’re going to the Super Bowl. Are you kidding me? Arian Foster and J.J. Watt? Super Bowl.”

ID: 1527092

13. Indianapolis Colts

“If our line holds up and we can establish some sort of a running game to take the pressure off Luck, we’ll be all right, probably. On offense.”

ID: 1527098

14. Jacksonville Jaguars

“Nope. Never seen a game.”

ID: 1527101

15. Tennessee Titans

“I don’t care. I just want Chris Johnson to have a good year.”

ID: 1527103

NFC South

ID: 1527105

17. Atlanta Falcons

“Matt Ryan, Julio Jones, Roddy White, Tony Gonzlaez, AND we have Steven Jackson now. It doesn’t matter who we play, we’re going to score 100 points every game.”

ID: 1527107

18. Carolina Panthers

“If we stop running the read-option, we’ll be fine. It’s not gonna work for us. Cam Newton has a good arm, just let him throw it.”

ID: 1527109

19. New Orleans Saints

“Sean Payton wasn’t coaching, so last year didn’t count. IT DIDN’T COUNT!”

ID: 1527112

20. Tampa Bay Buccaneers

“I guarantee we fall apart again.”

ID: 1527116

AFC East

ID: 1527122

22. Buffalo Bills

“We’ll probably lose a bunch of games, but E.J. Manuel is going to take us to the Super Bowl eventually.”

ID: 1527127

23. Miami Dolphins

“Yeah, I guess we’re going with Tannehill. We’ll see how that goes.”

ID: 1527132

24. New England Patriots

“I never liked Hernandez, and I told you that from day one. We don’t want guys like that on our team anyway. It’s just going to be extra motivation for Brady.”

ID: 1527137

25. New York Jets

“You know I love this team, but we have to get rid of Sanchez and give Geno Smith a shot. I don’t care if Geno Smith sucks too — Sanchez is done.”

ID: 1527139

NFC East

ID: 1527142

27. Dallas Cowboys

“God dammnit, Tony Romo.”

ID: 1527148

28. New York Giants

“I don’t think it’s our year, but we don’t ever even start playing until the second half of the season, so right now, who cares?”

ID: 1527154

29. Philadelphia Eagles

“All I’m saying is that Chip Kelly will be better than Andy Reid for the personnel we have. Vick could really thrive in this system.”

ID: 1527157

30. Washington Redskins

“RG3 will be ready to go week one. Orthopedic treatments have really come a long way in the last decade. You wouldn’t believe what doctors can do nowadays.”

ID: 1527162

AFC West

ID: 1527164

32. Denver Broncos

“We should have won it last year, but that’s fine — we’ll win it this year with Welker. As long as our secondary doesn’t blow it again.”

ID: 1527167

33. Kansas City Chiefs

“It’s a bounceback year. Alex Smith was really taking off in San Francisco before he got hurt.”

ID: 1527172

34. Oakland Raiders

“Woodson is back, the A’s are making the playoffs, the Warriors signed Andre Iguodala, and if we do bad enough, we’ll get Jadeveon Clowney.”

ID: 1527173

35. San Diego Chargers

“Now that Norv Turner is gone, I wouldn’t be surprised if we win every single game. Or maybe just the usual eight.”

ID: 1527176

NFC West

ID: 1527182

37. Arizona Cardinals

“Carson Palmer just needs to be halfway decent. Just throw it anywhere near Larry Fitzgerald and I’ll be happy. And can we talk about how the Honey Badger was the steal of the draft?”

ID: 1527183

38. San Francisco 49ers

“Just think of how good we’ll be with Kaepernick playing for the full year. I can’t wait to see him and Anquan Boldin together.”

ID: 1527184

39. Seattle Seahawks

“With our defense, Russell Wilson doesn’t even need to be good for us to win. But he is. I really, really like him. I’m telling you, Russell Wilson will be the best one from that group.”

ID: 1527186

40. St. Louis Rams

“Tavon Austin is about to tear it up this season. I’m drafting him in my fantasy league.”

ID: 1527189

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