Sh*t Fantasy Football Owners Say

Yeah, we’re bringing it back.


2. “Were they rushing touchdowns?”

3. “AP is probable for Sunday.”

4. “I think I have that guy in the league with Brad’s friends from high school.”

5. “Trust me, Brent Celek is going to have a breakout year.”

6. “[Opposing quarterback] is out with a devastating concussion? Hahaha. That’s awesome.”

7. “It’s Brandon Marshall in a contract year.”

8. “That catch wasn’t ‘like 20 yards,’ Shawn, it was actually 18 because he sucks and ran out of bounds.”

9. “I’m good if Brent Celek scores…let’s see…five touchdowns.”

10. “Who else is Cutler going to throw to?”

11. “Yes! Jason Hanson, I love you!”

12. “Moneeb? His name is Moneeb? And he’s in our league? Oh, you mean ‘Titsburgh Feelers.’ Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I know that guy.”

13. “Dude, we’re talking about Dr. James Andrews.”

14. “Chris Johnson had 18 carries for 21 yards? Yep, that makes sense.”

15. “I hate that I have to root for Chris Johnson.”

16. “How kind of Chris Johnson to have his first quality game in Week 17.”

17. “I’m never drafting Chris Johnson again.”

18. “Daunte Culpepper…now that was a player.”

19. “I feel really good about this team.”*

*Never said after the season has started.

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