A Not-So Definitive Ranking Of The 30 Best Nicknames For Home Runs

    "And that's another whambleblam* for Miguel Cabrera!" *Not actually included because it's not real.

    Baseball has been played for like, I don't know, 700 years or something. And somewhere in that timeline calling a home run a "home run" simply wasn't exciting anymore, so the players, coaches, fans, and commentators started to use nicknames instead. And now home run nicknames are as common in baseball as horse steroids. But what's the point of having a bunch of nicknames if you don't rank them? Exactly, there isn't one. That's what I'm saying.

    Note: These are NOT home run calls, like "You can put it on the boooooard, YES!" Those are something completely different and they have no place on this list.

    30) Poke

    29) Long Ball

    28) Homer

    27) Knock

    26) Smack

    25) Jack

    24) Shot

    23) High-Riser

    22) Dinger

    21) Blast

    20) Bomb

    19) Rocket

    18) Missile

    17) Laser

    16) Roof Shot

    15) Moon Shot

    14) Tape Measure Shot

    13) Goner

    12) Big Fly

    11) Upper-Decker

    10) Tater

    9) No-Doubter

    8) Four-Bagger

    7) Round-Tripper

    6) Out-of-Towner

    5) Gopher Ball

    4) Souvenir

    3) Yahtzee

    2) Grand Salami (for a grand slam, obviously)

    And the winner, in an upset:

    1) Oppo Taco (a home run to the opposite side of the park, used specifically by the Angels)

    Think we missed one or want to plead the case for your favorite home run nickname? Let us know in the comments.