16. Because their coach is a madman who would sacrifice a life to win a game.
15. But still buys $8 khakis in bulk at WalMart because he doesn’t play by your rules.
14. And neither does his quarterback.
Seriously though, people. It’s a friggin’ hat. Let it go.
13. In fact, breaking rules is what Kaepernick does best.
And doing so gives him great pleasure.
12. Because it’s nearly impossible to defend Michael Crabtree.
And if he’s on his game, no one can touch him.
11. It takes an entire team to bring down Frank Gore.
If you can even catch him.
10. Their kicker is a machine.
8. NaVorro Bowman is a freak of nature.
7. Who stalks his opponents like prey.
6. And has a partner in crime who is equally ferocious.
You don’t mess with Patrick WIllis.