1. You knew “El Chapulin Colorado” before you knew Superman.
Superman pales to this beast.
4. You got your nightly news from these two:
Jorge Ramos and Maria Elena Salinas: Univision news anchors since 1986.
7. You always wondered why Americans celebrated Cinco de Mayo more than your family.
9. You wrote to “Los Reyes Magos” instead of Santa Claus.
Los Tres Reyes Magos (The Three Wise Men). On January 5th, you’d write a letter to the Magos and then put it in a shoe. You leave the shoe at your doorstep and in the morning, you’d get your presents. Probably a way for your parents to take advantage of after-Christmas sales.
10. On every January 6th, you ate bread with baby figurines stuck inside.
It’s called a rosca. If you get the figurine, it’s your job to make tamales in February. Kids didn’t care. They just wanted a new toy.
11. This happened to you on your birthday:
No one was ever spared… NO ONE.
12. This guy was YOUR People’s Champion.
Julio Cesar Chavez: Boxing God.
13. You preferred Santo over Hulk Hogan.
Hulk Hogan never saved the earth from Martians… or breathed on the moon… or faced off against “El Nazi.”
14. You had to explain to teachers why you were labeling yourself a “bimbo.”
…It’s a Mexican bread company.
19. You grew up with this guy on TV.
And you really wanted a torta con jamon.
20. Your parents hated this guy:
Carlos Salinas de Gortari (President of Mexico from 1988-1994) A.K.A one of the most corrupt Mexican presidents of all time (and that bar is set very high).
23. You preferred conchitas over donuts.
…or at least ate the top part.
24. You HAD to be an usher at your cousin’s Quinceñera.
This was NOT an option.
26. You had a Carne Asada every Sunday.
This is not a BBQ. It’s a CARNE ASADA.
27. You still remember this scene.
28. You were represented in Hollywood by this man:
Edward James Olmos FTW!