tl
;dr

Women are AWFUL go up to your mother and punch that bitch in the face!

whoever wrote this note is an idiot. not funny. I am a 25 yr old bachelor and I have a very rich, satisfying emotional life. my friends are awesome. and I am not a slob. pretty much every gender-stereotype-based joke in this note is totally dumb and wrong. the notion that men should fear marriage is also wrong. however, both men and women should make sure they are ready to get married before they actually do it. although, with the divorce rate as it is these days, one could argue that very few people are ever “ready” to get married tho plenty definitely try.

There are stores out there selling engagement rings and nothing else? That is SCARY! (I guess you can tell I’ve never been engaged! And after watching a recent episode of “Say Yes To The Dress” I’m quite sure I never will.)

You forgot the picture in the womens bathroom that tells her that her fiance will eventually turn into a fat beer chugging emotionally crippled man who expects her to be his mommy but catering to him every second of the day (cooking his meals, cleaning,doing laundry, letting his beer gut crush your rib cage during what used to feel like sex, and giving birth to his grotesque children) is better then being 40 and single

Not specific to this sign but I love how I’m supposed to believe most men today want to be alone/don’t want to lock down a woman. It’s 2010, gender expectations are drastically different now than they were even a decade ago and are fairly equal when it comes to longterm monogamy. Upgrade the jokes!

Oh wait, it’s for an engagement ring store? The tl;dr version reads like this: “Buy a ring. Now, damn it! Why are you even in here? Get out and buy a fucking ring.”

I wouldn’t even read all of that. I’d be like, “What the hell is this?” and just walk away.

Lol, who opened the gates to the “Home For Emotionally Whiny Bitch Men That Can’t Get A Date, Let Alone Find Anyone Dumb Enough To Marry Them So They Spend All Day Complaining About Women And Marriage And Other Things They Have Absolutely No Experience With”.

Huh. That actually took a turn I wasn’t expecting.

Marriage is just a really expensive party…

I bet you that the vent cover in that bathroom is open and well coated in liquid soap as well.

Totally left out the part about how all women eventually turn into a soul sucking banshee, spend all of their time trying to remake you into their ideal image, only to realize that is never going to happen, then leave you broken and bleeding at the side of the road at age 40, and blame YOU because you didn’t become what SHE thought she could mold you into. Yes run indeed. Run fast, run far, and NEVER look back.

Why men want to get into a marriage, I’ll never understand. Why they don’t learn before they do (with all their miserable married buddies around them) is the 2nd greated mystery.

I actually like it.

Written by a female romantic comedy script writer, or at least someone for whom those movies are their only idea of what bachelorhood is all about. It’s not 1950; I don’t need a woman to cook my dinner or make sure I bother to wash myself.