18 Secrets Jews Won't Tell You About The Holidays

    Eighty-two percent of Jewish households have never had a Christmas tree. The 18% who do call it what it is.

    1. Hanukkah ceases to be cool after age 17.

    2. Hanukkah is actually not that important in the scheme of Jewish holidays. (Yom Kippur, Passover, and Rosh Hashanah are way more important.)

    3. The idea of a "Hanukkah bush" seems like a lackluster substitute for an actual Xmas tree.

    4. If you've gotten a tree as an adult, you've probably kept it a secret from your family.

    5. If you do eventually go for the Christmas tree, you feel compelled to buy silver and blue ornaments.

    6. At some point or another we've all tried to host a Christmas dinner that just didn't work out.

    7. You legitimize listening to Christmas music by calling it "good music."

    8. Christmas movies are awesome.

    9. We don't always eat Chinese food on Christmas.

    10. We're never sure if we need to disclose our Judaism at Christmas events.

    11. When people ask if Jews celebrate Christmas, you tell them "no." This is a lie.

    We react with some sort of shock/horror. And then sometimes we go home and bake Christmas cookies.

    12. You don't realize how much your Judaism means to you until you have kids and it's Christmastime.

    13. You have never been visited by Hanukkah Harry but probably believed in Santa Claus for a while.

    14. You're incredibly jealous of all the cool presents your Christmas-celebrating friends manage to get.

    15. When you volunteer to work on Christmas to seem like a hero, it's actually no big deal to you.

    16. No one celebrates Chrismukkah.

    17. You know the story of Christmas better than you know the story of Hanukkah.

    18. A lot of us still don't know how to spell "Hanukkah."

    On that note, Chag Sameach!