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1. Kelly Osbourne: Oh SHIT!!! She forgot to put her blush on. I am so embarrased for her.
You can take the bad makeup and extra weight off the ugly, but you'll still be left with this...
The inspiration behind the character, Quagmire.
2. Courtney Stodden...Right before she ran into a brick wall.
No, no, don't worry. She's not crying. This is her sexy-singing face. She's happy.
"Eye no how two reed! I shwear, I dew!"
Those are supposed to be natural? Hmmm, well they look about as natural as your "sexchy" pose.
3. Lindsay Lohan: I'm not high! I'm just thinking really hard!
Awww. She's giving us a wucky wink.
She couldn't decide on what color of hair to have, so she did blonde for the main locks, dark brown for the brows, and just left her crotch to burn.
4. Kathy Griffin: BLAM! Now, that's a face full of Ginger-itis.
I think you are the poster child of butterfaces.
WHAT A BEAUT! Jeeesuusss. Woah! Sorry, Kathy...I love you, but GAWT DAYUM! Look at that face, WOMAN.
5. Katy Perry: I see your true colors shining through...
She looks like she used to be a mummbler.
6. Miley Cyrus: This is #1 on Maxim's Hot 100, you guys. I know! I look just as confused as you do.
Anytime you feel ugly, just remember this is what Maxim thinks is hottttttt.
7. The Willis Weirdos: AHHH! That's a real person!!
I'm with you, Rumer: It seems like such a cruel joke to have two beautiful people make the weird little oddity, that is you. What else is there left to do, but laugh?!
They didn't learn their lesson after having Rumer and decided to have two more little weirdos.
This is the 3rd little weirdo. They stopped after this one. Thank god.
8. Britney Spears: After so many years of being treated like a caged animal, she sometimes finds it hard to remember she isn't one.
The moment she realized K-Fed was the best thing that ever happened to her.
Did you know that "Mama June" is her first cousin?!
PLEASE, whatever you do, don't take off the shades!
I bet you just can't wait until your boys see this little number! Classy...
9. Madonna: Ahhh! SKELETOR! Dayum, your makeup works good. I can't believe this is what's underneath it!
10. Amy Winehouse: We all loved you, but it was way to hard for me to omit you from the list. You gave us THE BEST photo ops. I wish you could see Amanda Bynes, tryin to give you a run for your money!
3 different colonies of field mice, found in your hair, had do be relocated after your passing!
11. Courtney Love: Cat got your tongue...excuse me, I mean, FACE?!
Ehhh, at least you look sober here. Happy and ugly is better than F'd up and ugly any day!
It's a catch 22! Young and pre-plastic surgery ugly OOOOOORRRRR Old and post-plastic surgery ugly!
Stumped.
12. Tori Spelling: You will always make this list.
Stop running into parked cars, okay, okay, but on a more serious note: STOP MESSING WITH YOUR FACE! Every time you get work done, it looks worse. Just stop...before you turn into A Michael.
13. Okay, have a good day, and "Wink, Wink," from Amanda!
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