Real Life Scandals Of The Founding Fathers

Sure, they sculpted this great nation of ours, but the Founding Fathers obviously weren’t immune to scandal, drama and gossip. Luckily there weren’t cell phones back then or we might be stuck with a bunch of old colonial dick pics.

The Gay Scandals

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James Buchanan was the 15th President and likely our 1st gay one. No only did Senator William Rufus King claim he was having an affair with Buchanan, they attended social gatherings together and King even moved into the White House with him. Basically, it wasn’t the best kept secret. Many people, including Andrew Jackson, called the duo “Aunt Fancy” and “Miss Nancy” (a 19th-century slang for gay men). Perhaps that’s why James stayed a “bachelor” his whole Presidency.

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Buchanan may have been the first gay President, but the award for the tallest gay President goes to Abraham Lincoln. He was known for often staying the night at soldiers' homes and shared a bed with his close friend Joshua Speed (though historians say it wasn’t that uncommon for men to share a bed back then... you know, especially if they were gay). If only "Honest Abe" was more honest with himself.

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The Alexander Hamilton story was the “Brokeback Mountain” of its time. A lover and a fighter, during the Revolutionary war he wrote dozens of intimate, emotional letters to his fellow soldier, John Lauren. When Lauren was killed during battle (spoiler alert) a depressed Hamilton wrote, “I feel the loss of a friend I truly and most tenderly loved.” On a separate (but lucky for John Lauren) note, take a closer look at that $10 bill. Hamilton was a fox!

Baby-mama drama

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And the father-of-the-year award does not go to Thomas Jefferson. It’s well known that Jefferson fathered six children by his slave Sally Hemings. In fact, years later through DNA testing and thorough research, the Thomas Jefferson Foundation committee proved that it is very likely he was indeed the founding father to all six children. Too bad that kind of science didn't exist back in his day, because Jefferson never admitted publicly, nor took responsibility, for his own kids. Wonder how much that back child support adds up to 200 plus years later?

The Sex Scandals

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Benjamin Franklin is known not only for inventing the lightening rod, but also what he did with the lightening rod in his pants. Never a discreet man, Franklin wrote an article in 1745 called “Advice on the Choice of a Mistress,” advising men to seek out older women. His womanizing ways and relationships with French women is said to have helped win him favor with France and gain the country’s military support during the Revolutionary War. But he wasn’t just sleeping around for the good of his country, Franklin admitted in his autobiography to sleeping “with women of low character” and said it was a miracle he never acquired a disease. As much bed-hopping as he did, the odds of not catching something is like being struck by lightni...oh, wait.

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On one hand, First Lady Dolley Madison was a well respected woman. She was even given an honorary position in Congress. On the other hand, she was often the target of rumors and gossip. One of the biggest was that while married to her rumored-to-be impotent husband James Madison, she had some side action going on with Thomas Jefferson. Apparently she needed to declare a little independence from her knickers.

The Drunks

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John Adams regularly drank beer for breakfast. Martin Van Buren drank so much he got to the point he couldn’t even get intoxicated anymore. And while Ulysses S. Grant sometimes spent entire days getting sauced during the Civil War, at least he was fun to be around. According Abraham Lincoln, if Grant was drunk he would send over barrels of booze to the all the nearby generals.

But drinking excessively was pretty common in the 18th century. According to a bar tab from the nearby tavern, just two days before they signed the Constitution, the delegates drank 54 bottles of Madeira, 60 bottles of claret, 8 of whiskey, 22 of porter, 8 of hard cider, 12 of beer and 7 bowls of alcoholic punch. We're all picturing George Washington doing keg stands, right?