12 Things Women In Comedy Are Sick Of Hearing

A lot of men (and women) are still completely clueless on how to talk to a female comic. Pro tip: Try talking to them as if if they were a person. So next time you’re with a comedian who also happens to have a vagina, think before you accidentally say something stupid.

1. "Your next comedian is a lady..."

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Oh good. Now I can prepare myself.

2. "You're funny and hot."

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Lord knows I certainly couldn't be one without the other.

3. "Normally I don't find women funny, but you were hilarious."

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Normally I don't find dicks like you funny. Still don't.

4. "You're really funny... for a woman"

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You're really small minded... for a human.

5. "These days, women in comedy have become so important. It's a ground breaking time for these ladies, so let's really support this next woman coming up on stage..."

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But you know, no pressure or anything.

6. "If you want to book more shows, you should stop wearing your wedding ring on stage. If guys think they can fuck you, you'll get booked more."

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Thanks! That's exactly why I got into comedy in the first place, to sleep with shitty, greasy comedy club bookers.

7. "I'm not trying to be sexist, but..."

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Stop right there. Nothing good can ever come after this sentence.

8. "Please welcome FEMALE COMEDIAN..."

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Because "MONTHLY BLEEDING COMEDIAN" would be too graphic?

9. "You only booked that because you're a woman."

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And you only think that, because you happened to be born with a penis.

10. "This next comedian is adorable and funny."

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Thanks, host whose physical characteristics have never been mentioned tonight.

11. "I was only going to book one lady, but you both are really funny, so congratulations I'm booking you both!"

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What? Call the papers! Contact The Guinness Book of World Records! Get The Pope on the line! Two funny females in one room at the same time? It's a miracle!

12. Anything that refers to us as "lady-comics."

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