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    20 Signs You're A Metro North Commuter

    You live in the tri-state area, but you haven't quite found an apartment in the mecca yet. For now, you are a slave to the evil overlord we call Metro North

    1. The signs all say "Good Service," but your train is at least 15 minutes behind schedule.

    2. Sometimes you get on the train and it looks like this:

    3. But most of the time it actually looks like this:

    4. Every time you see a non-work commuter taking up a seat on a peak hour morning train, you resist the urge to smack them silly.

    5. Waiting on the train platform in the morning is an opportunity to check out the latest business fashion.

    6. Unless you're commuting from Connecticut, in which case everyone has looked like this since 1996

    7. You're starting to wonder if they sell mens dress shirts in any color other than blue.

    8. Every morning the only seat left is next to the guy eating an onion bagel smacking his lips and listening to his music so loud you can hear it through his headphones.

    9. If you get an aisle seat, everyone walking by hits you in the face. If you get a window seat, the person next to you trying to avoid the aisle is in your lap.

    10. If you're a woman who sits with their legs crossed, the man next to you will take the liberty of spreading his legs out as wide as possible to fill up the extra room.

    11. You can name every station along your line in order with approximate timing between stops.

    12. When people ask you about stops / schedules you pretend not to know, even though you basically have a masters in Metro North

    13. Everyone appears to be really absorbed in their newspapers, but really they're just looking around judging each other.

    14. Your train leaves from the same track at Grand Central every single day, except the one time you're running late to catch it and they moved it to some obscure downstairs platform.

    15. Your monthly train ticket is so expensive you'd think just moving to New York would be cheaper.

    16. You're also so scared of losing your $3298472938472 train ticket you refuse to put it in the metro card machine to load it for the subway.

    17. The line to buy tickets on the first of the month is so long you'd think there was a magical elf giving away free blow jobs at the end.

    18. You judge the guy double fisting brown paper bag beers on the train home from work, but you're just gonna do the same thing when you get home.

    19. Leaning your head against the train window merits a 5 minute internal debate about your chances of contracting lice, or herpes, or something....

    20. The same guy checks your ticket every single day, but god forbid you forget your pass one time, he will make you buy a daily ticket like he's never seen you before in his life.

    Bonus: You thought this list was kind of funny but your life as a commuter is so bleak you've forgotten how to laugh.