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1.) BARBRI (or whatever bar prep class you are taking) assigns you 8-10 hours of homework... 7 days a week.
2.) So, showering on the regular is no longer a part of the schedule.
3.) Using your brain for constant bar prep makes every day tasks a challenge and rage blackouts become more frequent.
4.) With every practice MBE question you answer and every practice essay you write, you die a little more inside knowing the bar is going to be so much worse...
5.) If you hear one more hypo attempting to be clever by simply using celebrity names, you are going to pull your hair out.
6.) And if you ever find Blackacre, you're going to burn that property to the ground.
7.) Everything in your house or apartment becomes an annoyance or a distraction.
8.) But every time you go outside you see potential torts.
9.) Your barista is your new best friend because you are legitimately addicted to caffeine now.
10.) And you've either gained 15 pounds or lost 15 pounds... depending on your coping mechanism.
11.) Your non-bar-taking friends try to get you to justify going out by saying things like, "You deserve a break." You love them for it because you DO deserve a break, but internally are screaming, "I CANT! I HAVE NO TIME!"
12.) You're not sure if you still have a significant other because it's been so long since you've gotten to spend any time with him/her.
13.) There's no point in trying to interact with the general public... all the space in your brain where you stored your interpersonal skills is now being used trying to remember all the exceptions and special rules to Secured Transactions.
14.) Then you realize that the areas of law you reviewed from the beginning of the month, you've since forgotten as your schedule has you reviewing an entirely new area of law every few days.
15.) Your non-bar-taking friends and family members try to be encouraging by saying things like, “It's just one more test." Or "You’re smart, so you’ll pass!” Even though you know they mean well, you literally want to punch them out.
16.) And EVERY DAY you ask yourself whether you actually want to be a lawyer.
17.) You are already planning the hell you and your fellow bar-takers are going to raise after Day 2 of the bar exam...
18.) When you're all fully aware it will look more like this...
19.) But until the day after the bar exam is finished, you will be found in your room, yelling at inanimate objects about the stupidity of the common law and the UCC.
20.) All with the hopes that when October finally comes and the bar results are out you can shout: BOOM, LAWYERED!
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