5 Reasons Why Women Need To Stop Calling Other Women “Bitches”

Woman-on-woman hate achieves nothing but further oppression of women. Here are five reasons why.

1.

1. There is no agreed definition of what a "bitch" really is. It is an incredibly vague and elusive notion with interpretations that vary from person to person. Yet, one thing remains certain: a "bitch" is usually someone who doesn't fit into a standard that was created for them by another person. Anyone can be a "bitch", but you're most likely to be labelled as one for behaving in a way that someone else finds inconvenient. Harris O'Malley writes: "It's almost a reflexive response to a host of behaviors that men find inconvenient or undesirable". It is easy to trivialise a woman by simply labelling her a "bitch", you don't need an explanation. It is just one of those shut-down terms that doesn't require any kind of evidence to back it up.

2. The term "bitch" creates a category for the "other" women. This is hugely dangerous since the woman who doesn't fit into the modus operandi of usual "woman behaviour" is marginalised and maltreated for simply being herself. For there to be a "bitch" category, there also needs to be a "well-behaved woman" category. This polarises women and creates mass tensions amongst us. How can you expect solidarity from a group of people who are constantly being divided by amorphous terms? (The old divide-and-conquer strategy). The "bitch" label is great for the patriarchy machine. As long as women are fighting amongst ourselves about who are the "bitches" and who are the "non-bitches", we are never going to fight our real enemy: patriarchy.

3. Labelling a woman a bitch is an effective means of silencing her and minimising her arguments, but it is also a way of justifying any abuse against her. It has been a longstanding argument of rapists, abusers and even society in general; that "bad" women deserve what is coming to them. If she is a "bitch", she should expect maltreatment, whether that be in the form of verbal or physical abuse. Slut-shaming is an active part of a Rape Culture where women are terrorised for their choices. The worst part of "bitch" concept, for me, is the way in which it allows people to justify abuse against a certain portion of women. And even fellow-women join in to justify this abuse. We've all heard the arguments of "If she doesn't have self-respect, she shouldn't expect respect from anyone else" made by both men and women alike. The problem with this erroneous claim is that there is no definitive way to "respect" oneself, therefore all choices should be respected. When you create schismatic categories for women, you not only separate them, but allow one portion to be actively marginalised, terrorised and even physically/sexually abused.

4. It is fucking hard being a woman. Let's face it, the figures speak for themselves: one in five women in the UK are sexually abused with similar figures in the U.S. It's no easier in the developing world, for example 71% of women in Ethiopia have been sexual abused. I have a firm belief that being a woman is one of the most difficult and vulnerable positions in this world. Even worse to be a woman of color, to be disabled and/or non-heterosexual and live in low socio-economic status. We make life even harder for one another with woman-on-woman hate. We do the dirty work of patriarchy and successfully oppress each other with terms like "bitches" and "sluts". Why do we do this? I think Jessica Valenti provides a great explanation. She claims that due to the powerfulness and vastness of the patriarchy machine; women find alternative venues to exert their anger on, and one of these venues happens to be other women. Instead of directing our frustration at the perpetrators of patriarchy, we direct our anger inwards at eachother. Let's face it, in a society where women are conditioned to be a delicate and poised, it's easier to get mad at other women than men, who we are taught to act super "ladylike" in front of.

5. The last reason I dedicate to Ms. Norbury. She said it fabulously:

"You have all got to stop calling each other sluts and whores, it just makes it okay for guys to call you sluts and whores"