1. We know that our siblings are looking up to us, and that we must set a perfect example.
3. When mom and dad didn’t have the whole parenting thing figured out yet, we had to be the guinea pigs.
4. Also, we had to take the full brunt of mom and dad’s weirdness all by ourselves.
6. Always having to pretend to care about boring baby stuff that’s way below our superior intellect.
8. We sometimes must use our superior strength to save our siblings from being whiny little jerkfaces.
15. We sometimes must discipline those who try to ruin family photos.
18. Even though the attention can sometimes be too much, and we try to keep a low profile…
19. …we’re clearly the most fearless people on the planet.
…in real life we’re dedicated to being loving, caring, full-time bodyguards.
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