The 16 Most Bizarre Moments In The Bible

Those diligent Sunday schoolers who did extra reading were likely rewarded with NIGHTMARES.

1. When God didn’t want Moses to see his face, so he made him talk to His butt.

Maybe it’s the inspiration for this classic Jim Carrey scene.

2. When King Solomon solved a dispute by ordering a baby to be cut in half.

3. When God used magic to dislocate Jacob’s hip in an all-night wrestling match.

There is some debate over whether Jacob wrestled God or an angel, but whoever the being was, he named Jacob “Israel,” meaning “He who struggles against God.”

4. When God slew Onan for practicing the pull-out method.

5. When Adam lived to the age of 930.

6. When some children teased Elisha for being bald, so he cursed them with a bear attack.

7. When God laid the smackdown on Egypt with not just one, but TEN horrible plagues.

 

8. When Balaam’s donkey inexplicably started talking and explained why animal cruelty is wrong.

9. When God ordered Abraham to kill his son just to prove that he loved Him.

God eventually stopped the loyal Abraham from doing it and told him to sacrifice a ram instead.

10. When Job, a perfectly solid and pious guy, lost everything because of a bet God made with Satan.

11. When David collected 200 Philistine foreskins and delivered them to King Saul in exchange for his daughter’s hand in marriage.

He was only asked to collect 100, but David really wanted to impress the king.

12. When God became so disgusted with mankind that He flooded the Earth and started everything over again.

13. When Jesus resurrected Lazarus, a devout Christian who was probably enjoying eternal paradise before being brought back to life.

14. When the assassin Ehud plunged a dagger into the morbidly obese King Eglon, causing excrement to spill everywhere.

15. When Jesus got mad at a tree because he was hungry.

16. When we’re told the end of the world will be like every single horror movie combined.

144,000 people will go to Heaven. For the rest? Fire, brimstone, monsters, water turning to blood, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, and many more terrible things.

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