How You Thought Sex Worked When You Were A Kid

So innocent…

Remember when you were young and pure and had no idea what sex was?

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1. It seemed to be everywhere, but gosh darnit, what WAS it?

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2. Of course, you had some theories. Sex is…

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3. Falling asleep next to someone?

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4. Hugging really hard?

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5. Doing pushups on top of someone?

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6. Swapping saliva?

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7. Doing a really intense dance?

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8. Getting naked and jumping on the bed?

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9. Some kind of rubbing?

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10. Listening to a Barry White song?

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11. Obviously taking off your pants was required.

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12. It sounded like birds and bees were somehow involved.

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13. There’s also that thing about storks and babies and sex all being related somehow. Yeah… good luck figuring out that one.

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14. But then one day you made a very smart observation on male and female anatomy.

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15. Hmm… It all started making sense…

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16. Of course! The boy pees inside the girl!

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17. Way to go, genius! You must’ve felt pretty clever… until mom and dad sat you down for the most HORRIFIC talk of your life.

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18. …….

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20. Your response:

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21. *#*#$&@%^#!!!!

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22. Boy, were you sooooo off…

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23. All adults suddenly looked like this…

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24. But don’t worry, they said, someday YOU WILL HAVE DISGUSTING SEX, TOO!

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25. Goodbye, innocence! The world will never look the same again…

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26. …not even your toys.

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