1. Gak, Smud, Slime, or any other ooze that Nickelodeon sold
2. Jarts, aka Lawn Darts
They’re basically flying metal spikes. For sale. To Children.
5. Your Own Makeup
6. Virtual Boy
In retrospect it’s probably better no one ever bought this for you. Aside from crappy gameplay, users also complained of frequent nausea and headaches.
7. Inflatable Furniture
9. Pokemon Cards
“Gambling addiction? What gambling addiction? Come on, Mom and Dad, lend me the dough for just one more pack. I’m good for it, I swear! I’m just going through a rough patch…”
10. A BB Gun
Remember how NOT FUNNY the quote “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid” was when you were actually a kid?!
12. Creepy Crawlers Oven Set
“You’ll burn your hands off, kid.”
“You’ll reach technological singularity, thus causing the robot to rebel and kill its human masters, kid.”
14. The incredibly sugary cereal from whatever movie you just saw
16. Mortal Kombat!
Bonus points if you could get the bloodier, gorier Sega Genesis version
17. Garbage Pail Kids
To be fair, they were pretty disgusting
18. Shark Shirts
“Mom, Dad, don’t you get it?! It’s like the shark’s ACTUALLY biting through my shirt!”
- At least one person – a police officer – died in a shooting at a Planned Parenthood in Colorado Springs. The suspect is in police custody. ›
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