19 Things Your Parents Wouldn’t Buy You Even Though You Wanted Them So, So Bad

They were expensive, or dangerous, or just plain ridiculous, but when you were a kid, you just HAD to have them…

1. Gak, Smud, Slime, or any other ooze that Nickelodeon sold

ID: 1166964

2. Jarts, aka Lawn Darts

They’re basically flying metal spikes. For sale. To Children.

ID: 1166925

3. A Race Car Bed

ID: 1167113

4. Anything neon. Anything.

ID: 1166879

5. Your Own Makeup

ID: 1166857

6. Virtual Boy

In retrospect it’s probably better no one ever bought this for you. Aside from crappy gameplay, users also complained of frequent nausea and headaches.

ID: 1167253

7. Inflatable Furniture

ID: 1166998

8. A Pet Tarantula

ID: 1167297

9. Pokemon Cards

“Gambling addiction? What gambling addiction? Come on, Mom and Dad, lend me the dough for just one more pack. I’m good for it, I swear! I’m just going through a rough patch…”

ID: 1167219

10. A BB Gun

Remember how NOT FUNNY the quote “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid” was when you were actually a kid?!

ID: 1167025

11. Pogo Balls

“You’ll break your ankles, kid.”

ID: 1167054

12. Creepy Crawlers Oven Set

“You’ll burn your hands off, kid.”

ID: 1167095

13. Robots

“You’ll reach technological singularity, thus causing the robot to rebel and kill its human masters, kid.”

ID: 1167164

14. The incredibly sugary cereal from whatever movie you just saw

ID: 1167185

15. Power Wheels

ID: 1167562

16. Mortal Kombat!

Bonus points if you could get the bloodier, gorier Sega Genesis version

ID: 1167304

17. Garbage Pail Kids

To be fair, they were pretty disgusting

ID: 1167317

18. Shark Shirts

“Mom, Dad, don’t you get it?! It’s like the shark’s ACTUALLY biting through my shirt!”

ID: 1167350

19. Fake Poop

“Mom, Dad, I really, really, need this. It’s for something important, I promise…”

ID: 1167269

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