1. Our beautiful journey begins on the second of January when Ryan made his 2012 debut at an airport.
2. Always careful of blinding the world with his beauty, Ryan covered his gorgeous face with a magazine.
3. That same day he would peak out from behind the magazine…
4. …and give us this full frontal shot.
5. What a wonderful New Year’s gift.
6. On the third of January, Ryan went to a gym, shoelace blowing in the wind.
7. He would leave the gym, hours later, hair tousled and completely barefoot. It was incredible.
8. On the seventh of January, Ryan returned to that gym.
9. When he left, Ryan again gave the pavement a taste of his feet.
10. The pavement couldn’t have asked for more.
11. On the eighth of February, Ryan bestowed upon us a red tank top.
12. Then, on the fifteenth, Ryan flexed his right forearm.
13. The next day, he ate an apple.
14. It is now March. On the twenty-ninth, he blessed these people with his presence.
17. On the tenth, he walked down the street with a brown paper bag.
18. Then, on the fifteenth, Ryan awarded us with a bicep flash.
19. Needless to say, it was a wonderful spring.
Then it was May.
20. The tenth was a particularly rough day. On the positive side, the “Gangster’s Squad” trailer was released.
21. But then this happened.
22. And the world weeped.
23. Lots and lots of weeping.
24. We dealt with that for weeks, until the twenty-ninth, when Ryan rode his motorbike. Sensing our pain, he rode sleeveless.
25. It is now June. On the first, Ryan came out of a van.
26. He rolled a bike away.
27. And that was that.
28. On the second, he was back doing what he does best: looking flawless in airports.
29. But then rjkasdfkl;aslfpoqiwer8-9poiwfkpjqwer
31. On the sixth, the bleeding continued flaksjdfjklasdf;lkas;ldfljkasdlk;f
32. But on the eighteenth, this video was uploaded to Youtube, providing a much-needed distraction for all the pain we had endured.
36. Then, on the twenty-third, Ryan did this and God smiled.
37. It is now August. On the third, Ryan left an airport in New Orleans.
38. On the twenty-first, Ryan filmed “Gangster Squad.”
39. He drove a car…
40. …and walked…
41. August was a good month.
42. September started out gloriously with another trip to the airport.
43. Ryan introduced the world to his box.
44. Then, on the seventh, Ryan made his only red-carpet appearance of the year at the Toronto Film Festival.
45. He waved…
46. …and laughed in the face of peasants.
47. It was looking like a great night.
48. A really great night.
49. Until this happened.
50. Then, on the twenty-sixth, Ryan was filming a movie.
51. It was hard to watch.
52. LIKE REALLY HARD TO WATCH AND ALSO VULGAR
53. IT WAS INFURIATING AND NOT COOL
54. September basically really fucking sucked.
55. But then, as he had done earlier in the year, sensing our pain, on the thirtieth, Ryan waited in a line.
56. And pulled up his pants. It was a nice day.
57. We are now in October.
58. October is always a beautiful month.
59. Like really really beautiful.
60. On the twenty-seventh, Ryan went to Texas to support a blind football league. He is a true humanitarian.
61. October was great.
63. Realizing his inferiority, Michael Fassbender gave a massage to Ryan Gosling.
66. The twenty-eighth of November was better.
67. And on the thirtieth, Ryan moved some boxes.
68. No complaints here.
69. Then, in December, Ryan received a phone call from God.
God: Thank you for 2012.
Ryan: You’re welcome.
- Uber has suspended its low-cost UberPOP service in France following protests last week.
- BP has agreed to pay a $18.7 billion fine to settle legal actions over the 2010 Deepwater Horizon oil spill.