Celebrity

Definitive Proof That Ryan Gosling Is Like A Fine Wine

Let me drink you.

1. Like a good bottle of wine, Ryan came into the world raw and unready. With not a clue, he wore strange jean jackets. You would still drink him, but it just wouldn’t be right.

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2. He dyed his hair black. I’m sure it tasted funny.

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3. He was totally tasty. Just not delicious… yet.

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4. Look at his floppy velvet suit! And his gelled black hair! It’s cute. I’m thirsting. But not totally parched.

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5. Then he went sour. Like really sour. Yikes.

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6. It was his awkward phase.

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7. He was aging. Flavors were molding together.

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8. Lost. Gone. Just searching for an identity.

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9. Also pale.

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10. Then he went through a redneck phase. I don’t even know.

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11. There were beanies and unnecessarily loose ties.

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12. It was a long process…

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13. …but eventually he started to come around. Even when he looked like an egg.

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14. Time did its work. The flavors enriched. It was like he was a totally different bottle of wine.

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15. Ryan became delicious.

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16. Rich. Perfect. Let me drink you.

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17. It’s funny what age does to wine and Ryan Gosling!

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18. Now I’m thirsty.

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19. Really fucking thirsty.

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20. I need wine.

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21. No. Not that boxed shit.

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22. *GULPS*

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I LOVE WINE. BYE.

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