Absolute Proof That Nicolas Cage Is God


HYPOTHESIS: God is everywhere and in all of us. So is Nic Cage. Therefore Nic Cage must also be God.

See evidence below.

1. He’s hanging from the ceiling while two of his followers worship him from their homemade alter:

2. He’s on eBay being sold as a time traveling vampire from 1870:

3. At McDonald’s with this guy’s cousin:

4. Driving in reverse down Venice Blvd:

5. In the rearview mirrors at the Disney World parking lot:

6. Stopping traffic:

7. And he shops at Target, which I feel like Jesus would also do:

8. He makes people disappear and takes over their bodies:

9. He’s hiding behind packs of Pretzel Crisps:

10. On the bus:

11. Behind a woman and her child at a liquor store:

12. Turning down a roll:

13. And, of course, he’s scaring children:

14. Like God, he’s plastered all over the back of the people’s cars:

15. In Serbian textbooks:

16. Hanging from his ear by a random Italian man:

19. Like any religious deity, he’s on the screens of multiple tablets at Best Buy:

20. Next to some dude wearing a hot dog shirt:

21. He has the ability to shape-shift into a teenage girl:

22. He’s on license plates:

23. Next to a dude eating a taco salad:

24. In your toilet:

25. And has many statues (icons) made of him:

26. Like God, he wants to Free Amanda:

28. Is good with youth outreach:

29. And can fly:

Like in planes.

30. Nic Cage is also a random businessman in the corner of this photo:

31. A feminist hero:

32. The Queen:

33. And, lastly, a flower pot:

He is everywhere.

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