1. He'd make sure all your most embarassing moments are documented.
2. Because he knows the importance of being young at heart.
3. And that mocking infants is perfectly okay.
4. He would tell you all of his greatest stories.
5. Because he has no problem spilling some of his Hollywood secrets.
6. He'd demonstrate how to be passionate about the important things in life.
7. And teach you how to make all your peers envious.
8. He'd also show you all his best dance moves.
9. Because he knows there is no problem in celebrating your own success.
10. He'd help you open your heart and mind to new relationships.
11. He's a distant relative of Abraham Lincoln.
Yeah, our new best friend is a third cousin, four times removed from Honest Abe.
12. But that doesn't mean he won't do bad shit with his friends.
13. His companionship would make you as happy as a penguin...
14. Or a corgi on a treadmill!
15. He would get you interested in cool vintage things like typewriters.
16. And be your ultimate pen pal.
17. Because he'd remind you to never take yourself too seriously.
18. He would always throw the greatest costume parties.
19. He would push you to realize your potential in life — and ping pong.
20. You could help him prepare for movie roles.
21. And he'd give you awesome gifts — just because.
22. He would make sure you remember the importance of family.
23. And most importantly he'd share his wisdom on how to be the most likeable human of all time.
