20 Reasons Jeff Francoeur Is The Greatest Baseball Player Who Ever Lived

Proven by facts, statistics and smiles.

1. Because he has a really strong arm.

2. Some might even call it the strongest arm.

3. You don’t want none of that arm.

4. Seriously, don’t test it.

5. Because you will fail.

6. Seriously, look at that motherfucking arm.

7. It’s guaranteed to embarrass you.

8. That’s a first ballot Hall of Fame arm.

9. It’s basically god’s potato gun.

10. More accurate than a scientific calculator.

11. It wreaks more havoc than White Castle burgers on your digestive system.

12. More terrfying than Jurrassic Park… in 3D.

13. It gives baserunners nightmares.

14. And starting pitchers wet dreams.

15. It cured the plague.

16. And turned water into ice cold Budweiser.

17. You may not know it, but it’s your anti-drug.

18. I mean, it’s above average in the strength category.

19. It’s prettttayyy, pretttayy, pretttttaayyyy good.

20. Oh, you think there’s more to baseball than outfield assists? You’re right, here’s an RBI groundout.

Have a great day!

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