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17 Reasons Clint Dempsey Will F*** S*** Up In Seattle

America’s best goal scorer is coming home.

This week, the Seattle Sounders announced the transfer of Clint Dempsey from Tottenham Hotspur, meaning the U.S. men’s national team captain will be playing on American soil full-time. Many were surprised by the move, which Dempsey said was motivated by his desire to spend more time with his family and simply improve his quality of life. Some critics remain worried that Dempsey’s play will suffer without the challenges of the Premier League, but, come on. That’s not gonna happen. Here’s why.

1. Because Seattle is the most soccer-crazed city in the U.S.

Ted S. Warren / AP

2. In Seattle, he’ll receive unrelenting support, yet still be expected to thrive.

3. It’s one of the few major U.S. markets where a soccer player could receive as much attention as the city’s other major stars.

4. His general happiness should improve by spending more time with his three kids…

5. His lovely wife…

6. And his wolf dog.

7. Speaking of quality of life: Clint loves to fish…

 

And what’s Seattle known for?

 

9. And who knows? The city’s old grunge scene might even make him bring back these flowing locks.

10. He’s already accomplished his personal goals.

11. Let’s not forget that a little over a year ago, he was fourth in goals in the best soccer league in the world.

12. He’s arguably had the most successful career of any American in European soccer — and he’s only 30.

Look at that goal again… and again.

13. So there’s no doubt he’ll be making this face a lot more often.

14. And hopefully he’ll just have a lot more fun.

15. Who knows, maybe being back in the States will improve Deuce’s rapping ability…

16. Okay, maybe I’m pushing it.*

17. But one thing is for sure, Deuce will be doing a ton of this.

*Hey Clint, if you read this I totally was kidding about the whole rapping thing. It’s badass — like your sleeve. Man, I wish I was cool enough for a sleeve.

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