32 Reasons Being A Buffalo Bills Fan Is More Painful Than Childbirth

No one knows misery like the Western New York faithful.

1. We haven’t made the playoffs since the 1999–2000 season.

Timothy T. Ludwig / USA TODAY Sports
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2. …where this happened.

OK, here’s the thing: There’s no conceivable way a tight end can throw a ball 30 yards on a straight line. I don’t care what “video replay” and “technology” tells us, the Music City Miracle was an illegal forward pass.

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3. Today’s high school seniors were 4 years old at the time.

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4. We’ve had seven coaches since Marv Levy retired after the 1997 season.

Rick Stewart / Getty

Rick Stewart / Getty

Rick Stewart / Getty


From left: Wade Phillips, Greg Williams, Mike Mularkey.

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Who were all successful coordinators and not so successful head coaches…

Rick Stewart / Getty

Rick Stewart / Getty

Joel Auerbach / Getty


(From left to right: Dick Juron, Perry Fewell, Chan Gailey)

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5. We have our fingers crossed about Doug Marrone.

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I mean what else are we supposed to do?

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6. The only thing more unstable than our coaching situation is our quarterback play…

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Daniel Jonathan / Getty

Brad White / Getty


From left: Ryan Fitzpatrick, Trent Edwards, Brian Brohm.

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We’ve had 10 since Jim Kelly, and they’ve had one thing in common…

Rick Stewart / Getty

Jim McIsaac / Getty

Andy Lyons / Getty


From left: J.P. Losman, Kelly Holcomb, Drew Bledsoe.

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They all fucking suck.

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Rob Johnson / Getty


(From left to right: Todd Collins, Alex Van Pelt, Rob Johnson)

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7. Except this guy… Who ownership didn’t trust, because he’s short.

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Every Bills fan has a box of Flutie Flakes laying around somewhere.

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8. Since 2000, we’re 3-25 against the New England Patriots…

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9. …who have outscored the Bills by 350 points during that stretch.

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10. Remember 2005? When we lost to the Steelers on the last day of the season to miss the playoffs…

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11. That game was at home, and the Steelers rested the following players:

Rick Stewart / Getty

Rick Stewart / Getty

Rick Stewart / Getty


From left: Ben Roethlisberger, Jerome Bettis, Plaxico Burress.

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12. Or that time we miraculously lost to the Browns 6-3?

Rick Stewart / Getty

Seriously, how is that possible?!

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13. Remember hosting Monday Night Football for the first time in 14 years, forcing Tony Romo into five interceptions and losing on a last second 50-yard field goal?

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14. ………………


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15. Who could forget wasting first round picks on Aaron Maybin and Mike Williams?

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Al Bello / Getty

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16. Or trading Marshawn Lynch the Seahawks for a fourth and fifth round draft pick…

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17. He became an all-pro running back and is known for arguably the most memorable run in playoff history.

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18. This happened.

Drew Rosenhaus was also Willis McGahee’s agent.

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19. We all know how much Willis LOVED Buffalo!

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20. Hell, even the best player in franchise history initially didn’t want to play for us.

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21. Oh yeah! Remember this fucking guy?

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22. We’ve become accustomed to casual heartbreak…

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23. Injuries? We got them in spades…

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Marc Serota / Getty

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24. Debilitating misery? Check.

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25. So sometimes we have a little too much to drink.

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26. And we might blame god for our failures every once in a while.

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27. But we’re also intensely loyal…

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Andy Lyons / Getty

Brody Wheeler / Getty

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28. And uh, sometimes we’re just insanely intense…

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29. I mean, this is how we celebrate Week 3 victories.

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30. Call us delusional, but this is STILL an incredible achievement.

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31. We’re gonna turn the corner soon, we’re gonna make history…

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32. Even if “making history” means starting an undrafted free agent in Week 1 for the first time in NFL history.

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DISCLAIMER: I am a man and therefore incapable of experiencing childbirth; however, I am a diehard Bills fan and holy shit does it suck.

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