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32 Reasons Being A Buffalo Bills Fan Is More Painful Than Childbirth

No one knows misery like the Western New York faithful.

1. We haven’t made the playoffs since the 1999–2000 season.

Timothy T. Ludwig / USA TODAY Sports

2. …where this happened.

OK, here’s the thing: There’s no conceivable way a tight end can throw a ball 30 yards on a straight line. I don’t care what “video replay” and “technology” tells us, the Music City Miracle was an illegal forward pass.

3. Today’s high school seniors were 4 years old at the time.

4. We’ve had seven coaches since Marv Levy retired after the 1997 season.

Rick Stewart / Getty

Rick Stewart / Getty

Rick Stewart / Getty

 

From left: Wade Phillips, Greg Williams, Mike Mularkey.

Who were all successful coordinators and not so successful head coaches…

Rick Stewart / Getty

Rick Stewart / Getty

Joel Auerbach / Getty

 

(From left to right: Dick Juron, Perry Fewell, Chan Gailey)

5. We have our fingers crossed about Doug Marrone.

Patrick Smith / Getty

I mean what else are we supposed to do?

6. The only thing more unstable than our coaching situation is our quarterback play…

Rick Stewart / Getty

Daniel Jonathan / Getty

Brad White / Getty

 

From left: Ryan Fitzpatrick, Trent Edwards, Brian Brohm.

We’ve had 10 since Jim Kelly, and they’ve had one thing in common…

Rick Stewart / Getty

Jim McIsaac / Getty

Andy Lyons / Getty

 

From left: J.P. Losman, Kelly Holcomb, Drew Bledsoe.

They all fucking suck.

Eliot J. Schechter / Getty

Rob Johnson / Getty

 

(From left to right: Todd Collins, Alex Van Pelt, Rob Johnson)

7. Except this guy… Who ownership didn’t trust, because he’s short.

Ron Hoskins / Getty

Every Bills fan has a box of Flutie Flakes laying around somewhere.

8. Since 2000, we’re 3-25 against the New England Patriots…

Jim Rogash / Getty

9. …who have outscored the Bills by 350 points during that stretch.

Rob Carr / Getty

10. Remember 2005? When we lost to the Steelers on the last day of the season to miss the playoffs…

Rick Stewart / Getty

11. That game was at home, and the Steelers rested the following players:

Rick Stewart / Getty

Rick Stewart / Getty

Rick Stewart / Getty

 

From left: Ben Roethlisberger, Jerome Bettis, Plaxico Burress.

12. Or that time we miraculously lost to the Browns 6-3?

Rick Stewart / Getty

Seriously, how is that possible?!

13. Remember hosting Monday Night Football for the first time in 14 years, forcing Tony Romo into five interceptions and losing on a last second 50-yard field goal?

Rick Stewart / Getty

14. ………………

Ugh.

15. Who could forget wasting first round picks on Aaron Maybin and Mike Williams?

Rick Stewart / Getty

Al Bello / Getty

 

16. Or trading Marshawn Lynch the Seahawks for a fourth and fifth round draft pick…

17. He became an all-pro running back and is known for arguably the most memorable run in playoff history.

18. This happened.

Drew Rosenhaus was also Willis McGahee’s agent.

19. We all know how much Willis LOVED Buffalo!

Rick Stewart / Getty

20. Hell, even the best player in franchise history initially didn’t want to play for us.

21. Oh yeah! Remember this fucking guy?

Ethan Miller / Getty

22. We’ve become accustomed to casual heartbreak…

23. Injuries? We got them in spades…

Thomas B. Shea / Getty

Marc Serota / Getty

 

24. Debilitating misery? Check.

25. So sometimes we have a little too much to drink.

26. And we might blame god for our failures every once in a while.

27. But we’re also intensely loyal…

Stephen Dunn / Getty

Andy Lyons / Getty

Brody Wheeler / Getty

 

28. And uh, sometimes we’re just insanely intense…

29. I mean, this is how we celebrate Week 3 victories.

30. Call us delusional, but this is STILL an incredible achievement.

31. We’re gonna turn the corner soon, we’re gonna make history…

32. Even if “making history” means starting an undrafted free agent in Week 1 for the first time in NFL history.

Patrick Smith / Getty

*SIGH*

DISCLAIMER: I am a man and therefore incapable of experiencing childbirth; however, I am a diehard Bills fan and holy shit does it suck.

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