The 28-Year-Old Professional Athlete Who Simply Can’t Score

Allen Craig has trouble rounding the bases, if you know what I mean.

Cardinals outfielder Allen Craig is enjoying by far the best season of his MLB career. Craig already has 62 RBIs, and the Cardinals still have 15 games left before the All-Star break. (Non-baseball fans: having 100 RBIs in a year is a notable achievement, and the All-Star break comes halfway through the season.) But despite his gaudy offensive numbers, Craig has one major flaw in his game: the dude just can’t seem to cross home plate.

Mike McGinnis / Getty Images

Over the course of the 2013 season Craig has already been thrown out at home plate six times, which is two more than any player in baseball. Through 78 games Craig has figured out every way possible to get himself out near the dish.

4. Tagged out in a rundown.

5. Gunned out by the right fielder.

7. Thrown out by the third baseman.

9. Thrown out by the cut-off man.

11. During the day…

12. And at night!

13. On the plus side for Craig, at least there’s no widely-available photograph of him falling over and looking like Pee-Wee Herman.

Getty Images

14. Oh. Hmm. Well, he’s still got those RBIs, at least.

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