3. Did you hear what that bear said, human? The Pirates made the playoffs!!
8. Hold me, brah, I think I’m gonna cry. I’ve been waiting 21 years for this…
9. I’ve been waiting 147 dog years.
11. Man, I feel like dancing.
12. I’m just gonna spin around in circles because I don’t know what else to do.
21. Sweet, who’s coming with me to celebrate Dock Ellis style? No one? Okay, more for me!
I know Ellis took LSD, not shrooms, but they’re both hallucinogens! Um, also, kids, don’t do drugs, they’re only for bears and MLB starting pitchers.
- President Obama unveiled a climate change plan on Monday that calls for federal limits on the amount of carbon power plants can produce.
- Puerto Rico has failed to make a $58 million debt payment, and credit rating agency Moody's says the U.S. territory is in default.
- The death penalty should still be considered for Colorado theater shooter James Holmes, a jury decided.