1.
Not all wine gets better with age.
2.
It's not intimidating at all.
4.
This is NOT how you should describe a future NBA Hall of Famer.
5.
A star basketball player shouldn't seamlessly fit in on this poster.
7.
The "must have been a bad bottle" jokes.
8.
He already has a nickname!
I mean, honestly, who does he think he is?
Okay, never mind, he can call himself whatever he wants.