1. OK, you’ve reached rock bottom.
2. And your season is probably over, but it’s all uphill from here…
3. Hey look! “The Book of Manning” 30 for 30 documentary premieres tonight!
4. And now you get to experience autumn for the first time in years.
5. Think of all the quality time you’ll be able to spend with your family!
6. Think of all the money you’re going to save on bar tabs!
8. So sell your tickets…
9. And don’t worry, Eli Manning can still get you a great deal on a leased Toyota.
10. Set aside some time to go apple picking.
11. And wanna know a secret? Sunday afternoons at the movies are the best Sunday afternoons.
12. POSTSEASON BASEBALL STARTS NEXT WEEK!!!
Except for the fact that the only team in the Northeast to make the playoffs is… drumroll please… the Boston Red Sox.