9 Things That Will Be Totally Forgotten When NaNoWriMo Begins Tonight

National Novel Writing Month challenges writers to create a 50,000 word novel in just four weeks, so what needs to be trimmed to keep up the pace?

1. The Internet

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Ah yes, Buzzed, I shall not be wasting time with YOU in the next few weeks. Ooh! Wait! Which Pride and Prejudice character am I?

2. Reading

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Pah, the inferior words of "published authors", they will only distract me from my goal. But suddenly I'm very glad that no authors I love are releasing new books this month because that would literally be torture.

3. Proper Nutrition

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Wait, are you saying that I can't survive entirely on chocolate bars and microchips for a month? Looks like I need to pay a roommate to feed me again this year.

4. Exercise

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Unless I get a treadmill desk, I'm going to be getting very out of shape this month. Not helped by the previous point about diet. Time to blob out!

5. Friends

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Friends? Ha! More like "people who distract from my novel". What do I need them for anyway!

(Note to my friends: Please still be there when December rolls around!)

6. Hair Care and Beauty

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Probably showing my own personal tastes here but when I've got 1,600 words to write a day, sitting in a chair for hours just eats into my time too much. Need to do a deal with my hair and nails so they'll just stop for the next month

7. Penmanship

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Oh wow, did I write those notes last night? What am I even trying to- what does this even mean?

8. Spelling

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You know what, we have a language that's the bastard child of everyone who felt like invading England on a dull Sunday and I won't worry about it this month!

9. Sleep

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Sleep will no longer darken my door. I CAN DO EVERYTHING!

For all newbies to NaNoWriMo, the crash usually hits in week 3. Be prepared and good luck!